Alcoholism Funny Quotes

• Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness.

  Seneca the Younger

  Drinking, Alcohol, Liquor Funny

  "Moral Letters to Lucilius (Letter LXXXIII)". Book by Seneca the Younger, 1920.

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  Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

  Ernest Hemingway

  Funny, Witty, Clever

  Ernest Hemingway (2008). “The Good Life According to Hemingway”, Ecco

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• Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication.

  Lord Byron

  Drinking, Beer, Men

  'Don Juan' (1819-24) canto 2, st. 179

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• Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism.

  Carl Jung

  Drinking, Recovery, Overcoming Addiction

  Memories, Dreams, Reflections ch. 12 (1962)

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• I believe, if we take habitual drunkards as a class, their heads and their hearts will bear an advantageous comparison with those of any other class. There seems ever to have been a proneness in the brilliant and warm-blooded to fall into this vice.

  Abraham Lincoln

  Believe, Fall, Drinking

  Abraham Lincoln (1989). “Abraham Lincoln: Speeches & Writings Part 1: 1832-1858: Library of America #45”, p.88, Library of America

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• I drink to make other people interesting.

  George Jean Nathan

  Drinking, Book, Beer

  George Jean Nathan, Charles Angoff (1998). “The World of George Jean Nathan: Essays, Reviews, & Commentary”, Hal Leonard Corporation

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• I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.

  Winston Churchill

  Military, Drinking, Taken

  In Quentin Reynolds By Quentin Reynolds (1964) ch. 11

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• I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

  Winston Churchill

  Funny, Beauty, Sarcastic

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• Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living.

  Jean Kerr

  Drinking, Numbers, People

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• The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.

  William Butler Yeats

  Drinking, Food, Humor

  29 Copy quote

• One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.

  Nancy Astor

  Time, Educational, Drinking

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• Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.

  Winston Churchill

  Drinking, Beer, Wife

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  I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.

  George Best

  Soccer, Sports, Football

  "Best: Decline of the golden boy". news.bbc.co.uk. June 14, 2005.

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• I feel sorry for people who do not have a Bible to lean on.

  Adrian Rogers

  Sorry, Drinking, Beer

  Adrian Rogers, Steve Rogers (2012). “What Every Christian Ought to Know”, p.25, B&H Publishing Group

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• Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.

  Ogden Nash

  Funny, Drinking, Beer

  "Reflection on Ice-breaking" l. 1 (1931)

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  An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

  Dylan Thomas

  Funny, Drinking, Food

  Dictionary of 20th Century Quotations quoted by Nigel Rees. Fontana London (1987)

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  Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

  Frank Sinatra

  Love, Bible, Sarcastic

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• I like whiskey. I always did, and that is why I never drink it.

  Robert E. Lee

  Drinking, Scotch Whisky, Alcohol

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• If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.

  Dean Martin

  Retirement, Drinking, Book

  "Famous drinkers" by Rob Parker, www.theguardian.com. April 18, 2004.

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• Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

  Kinky Friedman

  Beauty, Philosophy, Drinking

  26 Copy quote

• I'm not a heavy drinker, I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop.

  Noel Coward

  Drinking, Beer, Alcohol

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• It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

  George Burns

  Clever, Drinking, Drunk

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  Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.

  George Bernard Shaw

  Funny, Life, Drinking

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  You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

  Dean Martin

  Clever, Lying, Humorous

  In Paul Dickson Official Rules (1978) p. 112

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• When a woman drinks it's as if an animal were drinking, or a child. Alcoholism is scandalous in a woman, and a female alcoholic is rare, a serious matter. It's a slur on the divine in our nature.

  Marguerite Duras

  Children, Drinking, Animal

  Marguerite Duras (1993). “Practicalities”, p.17, Grove Press

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