Funny Inspirational Quotes - Page 18

• Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Country, Witty

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• The world wants to define me by my mammary glands and melanin. It is just fascinating that Michael Mann has never been asked what it is like to be a white male filmmaker.

  Victoria Mahoney

  Inspirational, White, Empowering

  "There Is an Audience for Our Films: Four African-American Female Filmmakers Speak Out". Interview with Lorenza Muñoz, www.thedailybeast.com. December 4, 2012.

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• There is really a je ne sais quoi about turkey cooking - the air of festivity, the family squabbles, the constant basting - that does not apply to the turkey breast, which is, really, a convenience of food... A turkey without seasonal angst is like a baseball game without a national anthem, a winter without snow, a birthday party without candles.

  Laurie Colwin

  Baseball, Party, Winter

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• I don't have false teeth. Do you think I'd buy teeth like these?

  Carol Burnett

  Memorable, Thinking, Teeth

  "Teeth implants an involved process". Northwest Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, February 27, 2017.

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• Good things come to those who wait.

  Jess C Scott

  Inspirational, Funny, Patience

  Jess C. Scott (2010). “Porcelain”, p.147, jessINK

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• It's hard to get lost if you don't know where you're going.

  Jim Jarmusch

  Baseball, Funny Motivational, Goals Dreams

  "His Films, His Way: Jim Jarmusch Is Still Figuring Out How to Do It". Interview with Marc Savlov, www.austinchronicle.com. October 20, 2000.

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• All things come to those who wait.

  Violet Fane

  Patience, Life Changing, Funny Motivational

  Violet Fane (1872). “From Dawn to Noon: Poems”, p.85

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• You might as well fall flat on your face as lean over too far backward.

  James Thurber

  Inspirational, Funny, Fall

  New Yorker 29 Apr. 1939 "The Bear Who Let It Alone"

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• Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.

  Stan Kelly-Bootle

  Technology, Compromise, Computer

  13 Copy quote

• Make [food] simple and let things taste of what they are.

  Curnonsky

  Simple, Cooking, Taste

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• Every sweet, humble young model is only one campaign away from becoming a fashion monster.

  Coco Rocha

  Inspirational, Fashion, Sweet

  47 Copy quote

• I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch.

  Gilda Radner

  Witty, Fashion, Life And Love

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• I've always dreamed of growing up to be Amy Poehler.

  Amy Poehler

  Growing Up, Amy, Growing

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• I've tried many different types of alarm apps, but the tried and true is the iPhone alarm. I like it because you can label your alarms. For my personal amusement, I've labeled them 3 a.m. for 'ridiculously early,' 3:30 is just 'early,' and 4 is 'slacker.'

  Savannah Guthrie

  Inspirational, Iphone, Empowering

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• We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.

  Will Rogers

  Inspirational, Happiness, Laughter

  "Peter's Quotations: Ideas for Our Time". Book by Laurence J. Peter, p. 285, 1979.

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• Have enough sense to know, ahead of time, when your skills will not extend to wallpapering.

  Marilyn vos Savant

  Funny, Witty, Humorous

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• She watched the first episode and she was like, 'This is feminism?' And then by the end of the season, she was like, 'This is feminism.' The tone changed completely. She was really psyched about it.

  Allison Williams

  Inspirational, Empowering, Feminism

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• I'm a big health-food freak and a vegetarian devotee.

  Chelsea Clinton

  Vegan Food, Vegetarian, Freak

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• So the writer who breeds more words than he needs, is making a chore for the reader who reads.

  Dr. Seuss

  Life, Beautiful, Powerful

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• I have great faith in fools,— self-confidence my friends will call it.

  Edgar Allan Poe

  Life, Friendship, Confidence

  "The Complete Works of Edgar Allan Poe".

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• The nicest thing about quotes is that they give us a nodding acquaintance with the originator which is often socially impressive.

  Kenneth Williams

  Funny, Giving, Nodding

  Acid Drops preface (1980)

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• If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.

  Joan Rivers

  Funny, Witty, Women

  Quoted in Colin JarmanThe Guinness Dictionary of Sports Quotations (1990).

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• These motivational tapes have really inspired me! I'm going to make a million dollars, buy my own company and retire early. Then, I'm going to write a novel and a symphony and give all the profits to charity. Then next month, I'll figure out how to do it.

  Randy Glasbergen

  Inspirational, Funny, Motivation

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• Computers are good at following instructions, but not at reading your mind.

  Donald Knuth

  Reading, Following Instructions, Mind

  Donald Ervin Knuth (1984). “The texbook”, Addison-Wesley Professional

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• If you don't understand how a woman could both love her sister dearly and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child.

  Linda Sunshine

  Sister, Children, Funny Life

  Linda Sunshine (2012). “Mom Loves Me Best: (And Other Lies You Told Your Sister)”, p.20, Andrews McMeel Publishing

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