Punctuality is one of the cardinal business virtues: always insist on it in your subordinates.
[Hope is] the dream of a waking man.
The more pity, that fools may not speak wisely what wise men do foolishly.
I'm on the patch right now. Where it releases small dosages of approval until I no longer crave it, and then I'm gonna rip it off.
I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
I will not retire while I've still got my legs and my make-up box.
Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.
Having a baby changes the way you view your in-laws. I love it when they come to visit now. They can hold the baby and I can go out.
Here cometh April again, and as far as I can see the world hath more fools in it than ever.
God never slams a door in your face without opening a box of Girl Scout cookies.
Through the blur, I wondered if I was alone or if other parents felt the same way I did - that everything involving our children was painful in some way. The emotions, whether they were joy, sorrow, love or pride, were so deep and sharp that in the end they left you raw, exposed and yes, in pain. The human heart was not designed to beat outside the human body and yet, each child represented just that - a parent's heart bared, beating forever outside its chest.
The poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.
Electricity is really just organized lightning.
At my age flowers scare me.
Everyone told me to pass on Speed because it was a 'bus movie.'
Poor empty pants With nobody inside them.
The average age (longevity) of a meat eater is 63. I am on the verge of 85 and still work as hard as ever. I have lived quite long enough and am trying to die; but I simply cannot do it. A single beef-steak would finish me; but I cannot bring myself to swallow it. I am oppressed with a dread of living forever. That is the only disadvantage of vegetarianism.
People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily.
The happiest moments of my life have been the few which I have passed at home in the bosom of my family.
When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.
Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do day after tomorrow just as well.
I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
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