I had the blues because I had no shoes until upon the street, I met a man who had no feet.
Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.
I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
I make more mistakes than anyone else I know, and sooner or later, I patent most of them.
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.
Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?
By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.
It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.
Nothing is so common-place as to wish to be remarkable.
If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you.
I'm here today because I refused to be unhappy. I took a chance.
Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk.
Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.
Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
Happiness does not come from doing easy work but from the afterglow of satisfaction that comes after the achievement of a difficult task that demanded our best.
A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke-and that the joke is oneself.
I’m bored’ is a useless thing to say. I mean, you live in a great, big, vast world that you’ve seen none percent of. Even the inside of your own mind is endless; it goes on forever, inwardly, do you understand? The fact that you’re alive is amazing, so you don’t get to say ‘I’m bored.
I sometimes wonder if the manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things.
Work hard, be kind, and amazing things will happen.
The first law of dietetics seems to be: if it tastes good, it's bad for you.
Money won't make you happy... but everybody wants to find out for themselves.
We are indeed much more than what we eat, but what we eat can nevertheless help us to be much more than what we are.
A mother is the best friend God ever gave.
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