Funny Inspirational Quotes - Page 11

• I had the blues because I had no shoes until upon the street, I met a man who had no feet.

  Denis Waitley

  Inspirational, Funny, Positive

  29 Copy quote

• Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Funny, Life, Sarcastic

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “The Bachelor Home Companion: A Practical Guide to Keeping House Like a Pig”, p.124, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

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• I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.

  Benjamin Franklin

  Inspirational, Inspiring, Perseverance

  67 Copy quote

• Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.

  Mark Twain

  Funny, Motivational, Business

  Pudd'nhead Wilson ch. 19, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar" (1894)

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• I make more mistakes than anyone else I know, and sooner or later, I patent most of them.

  Thomas A. Edison

  Mistake, Creativity, Patents

  30 Copy quote

• If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.

  George Bernard Shaw

  Inspirational, Family, Dance

  63 Copy quote

• Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?

  Erma Bombeck

  Inspirational, Funny, Travel

  152 Copy quote
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  By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.

  Robert Frost

  Funny, Motivational, Hilarious

  248 Copy quote

• It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.

  Fred Allen

  Inspirational, Funny, Happiness

  20 Copy quote

• Nothing is so common-place as to wish to be remarkable.

  Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.

  Wish, Common, Notoriety

  1857-8 The Autocrat of the Breakfast Table, ch.12.

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• If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you.

  Billy Wilder

  Funny, Inspiring, Sarcastic

  "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

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• I'm here today because I refused to be unhappy. I took a chance.

  Wanda Sykes

  Inspirational, Cancer, Unhappy

  30 Copy quote

• Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk.

  Doug Larson

  Inspirational, Wise, Wisdom

  269 Copy quote

• Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.

  Albert Einstein

  Inspirational, Motivational, Positive

  Albert Einstein (2015). “Bite-Size Einstein: Quotations on Just About Everything from the Greatest Mind of the Twentieth Century”, p.31, St. Martin's Press

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• Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

  Mark Twain

  Inspirational, Funny, Life

  Pudd'nhead Wilson ch. 6, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar" (1894)

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• People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

  A. A. Milne

  Funny, Inspiring, Witty

  "Fictional character: Winnie The Pooh". "Christopher Robin", www.imdb.com. 2018.

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• Happiness does not come from doing easy work but from the afterglow of satisfaction that comes after the achievement of a difficult task that demanded our best.

  Theodore Isaac Rubin

  Happiness, Uplifting, Achievement

  93 Copy quote

• A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke-and that the joke is oneself.

  Clifton Fadiman

  Humor, Fools Day, April

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• I’m bored’ is a useless thing to say. I mean, you live in a great, big, vast world that you’ve seen none percent of. Even the inside of your own mind is endless; it goes on forever, inwardly, do you understand? The fact that you’re alive is amazing, so you don’t get to say ‘I’m bored.

  Louis C. K.

  Inspirational, Funny, Life

  70 Copy quote

• I sometimes wonder if the manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things.

  Alan Coren

  Humorous, Fools Day, Two

  57 Copy quote

• Work hard, be kind, and amazing things will happen.

  Conan O'Brien

  Inspirational, Funny, Motivational

  Conan O'Brien's Commencement Address at Dartmouth College in Hanover, New Hampshire, www.dartmouth.edu. June 12, 2013.

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• The first law of dietetics seems to be: if it tastes good, it's bad for you.

  Isaac Asimov

  Funny, Food, Law

  21 Copy quote

• Money won't make you happy... but everybody wants to find out for themselves.

  Zig Ziglar

  Love, Family, Happiness

  FaceBook post by Zig Ziglar from Jul 24, 2014

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• We are indeed much more than what we eat, but what we eat can nevertheless help us to be much more than what we are.

  Adelle Davis

  Food, Health, Eating Well

  36 Copy quote

• A mother is the best friend God ever gave.

  Christian Nestell Bovee

  Mother, Funny Life

  18 Copy quote