Golf Quotes - Page 18

• Men who would face torture without a word become blasphemous at the short fourteenth. It is clear that the game of golf may well be included in that category of intolerable provocations which may legally excuse or mitigate behaviour not otherwise excusable.

  A. P. Herbert

  Men, Games, Behaviour

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• Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at it.

  Jimmy Demaret

  Sex, Enjoy, Be Good

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• Writing is the most fun you can have by yourself.

  Terry Pratchett

  Sex, Fun, Writing

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• The point is that it doesn't matter if you look like a beast before or after the hit, as long as you look like a beauty at the moment of impact.

  Seve Ballesteros

  Impact, Long, Looks

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• Never take a mulligan on a par 3. A "hole in three" is not a fun story to relive.

  Brian Weiss

  Fun, Stories, Three

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• A typical day in the life of a heavy metal musician consists of a round of golf and an AA meeting.

  Billy Joel

  Musician, Typical, Heavy Metal

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• The life of the golfer is not all gloom; There's always the lies in the locker room.

  Sammy Cahn

  Lying, Lockers, Rooms

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• Golf is like smoking, I have been trying to quit for years.

  Brian Weiss

  Years, Smoking, Trying

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• I just hitch up my girdle and let 'er fly.

  Babe Didrikson Zaharias

  Girdles

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• No matter what happens - never give up a hole....In tossing in your cards after a bad beginning you also undermine your whole game, because to quit between tee and green is more habit-forming than drinking a highball before breakfast.

  Sam Snead

  Giving Up, Drinking, Games

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• That divot is so deep, I will need a sod cutter to fix it.

  Brian Weiss

  Needs, Cutters, Sod

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• The worst advice in golf is, 'Keep your head down.'

  Patty Sheehan

  Advice, Worst

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• I was shooting in the low 70s and 60s by the time I was twelve. That's the great thing about golf. It doesn't matter how old or young you are; if you're 90 and can shoot a good score, people will want to play with you.

  Bubba Watson

  Play, People, Twelve

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• If I've got a swing, I've got a shot.

  Bubba Watson

  Swings, Shots, Ifs

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• Golfers should not fail to realize that it is a game of great traditions, of high ideals of sportsmanship, one in which a strict adherence to the rules is essential.

  Francis Ouimet

  Games, Sportsmanship, Adherence

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• The rules are simple and easily understood by anyone who has once seen the game, but to the totally uninitiated they appear to be hopelessly unintelligible.

  John Adams Gilmer

  Simple, Games, Understood

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• After you have the basics down it's all mental.

  Ken Venturi

  Basics

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• Anyone who knows Dan Quayle knows that he would rather play golf than have sex any day.

  Marilyn Quayle

  Sex, Play

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• I think golf is a waste of time and a waste of a sunny afternoon. I also stink at it. I have never found anything, including divorce and a sexual harassment suit, more frustrating.

  Jay Mohr

  Divorce, Thinking, Sunny Afternoon

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• Golf is a lot like sex. It's something you can enjoy all your life. And if you remain an amateur, you get to pick your own playing partners.

  Jess Sweetser

  Sex, Partners, Enjoy

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• Nonchalant putts count the same as chalant putts.

  Henry Beard

  Nonchalant, Golf Jokes

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• I don't need to know where the green is. Where is the golf course?

  Babe Ruth

  Needs, Green, Courses

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• Then I thought, with the same clubhead speed, the ball's going to go at least six times as far. There's absolutely no drag, so if you do happen to spin it, it won't slice or hook 'cause there's no atmosphere to make it turn.

  Alan Shepard

  Atmosphere, Balls, Hook

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• G is for Green, that's constructed to roll in every direction away from the hole.

  Richard Armour

  Green, Holes

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• Talking about golf is always boring. Playing golf can be interesting, but not the part where you try to hit the little ball; only the part where you drive the cart.

  Dave Barry

  Talking, Interesting, Trying

  Dave Barry (2009). “Dave Barry Is from Mars and Venus”, p.104, Ballantine Books

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