Sarcastic Quotes - Page 6

• We have the best government that money can buy.

  Mark Twain

  Funny, Money, Sarcasm

  114 Copy quote

• Modesty is the artifice of actors, similar to passion in call girls.

  Jackie Gleason

  Girl, Passion, Actors

  9 Copy quote

• If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead already?

  Cynthia Heimel

  Funny, Ifs

  Cynthia Heimel (2002). “If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet?!”, Grove Press

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• She is a water bug on the surface of life.

  Gloria Steinem

  Water, Bugs, Surface

  8 Copy quote

• He was a bit like a corkscrew. Twisted, cold and sharp.

  Kate Cruise O'Brien

  Cold, Twisted, Bits

  Kate Cruise O'Brien (1980). “A gift horse, and other stories”, Olympic Marketing Corp

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• He has sat on the fence so long that the iron has entered his soul.

  David Lloyd George

  Iron, Long, Soul

  34 Copy quote

• I've had them both, and I don't think much of either.

  Beatrix Lehmann

  Thinking

  11 Copy quote

• He makes a July's day short as December.

  William Shakespeare

  July, December

  1609 Polixenes, of Mamillius. The Winter's Tale, act1, sc.2, l.170.

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• 

  A good conscience is a continual Christmas.

  Benjamin Franklin

  Happiness, Christmas, Honesty

  Benjamin Franklin (2004). “Poor Richard's Almanack”, p.92, Barnes & Noble Publishing

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• He is useless on top of the ground; he ought to be under it, inspiring the cabbages.

  Mark Twain

  Inspiration, Useless, Cabbage

  Mark Twain (2015). “Pudd'nhead Wilson”, p.129, Xist Publishing

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• [on pop idol Donny Osmond] He has Van Gogh's ear for music.

  Billy Wilder

  Life, Music, Witty

  "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

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• For your information, I would like to ask a question.

  Samuel Goldwyn

  Funny, Witty, Sarcasm

  "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

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• Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.

  Will Rogers

  Funny, Book, Beer

  "The Wordsworth Dictionary of Quotations". Book by Connie Robertson, 1996.

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• I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Life, Birthday

  116 Copy quote

• I sometimes think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability.

  Oscar Wilde

  Funny, God, Appreciation

  Oscar Wilde (2012). “Oscar Wilde's Wit and Wisdom: A Book of Quotations”, p.12, Courier Corporation

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• This is one race of people for whom psychoanalysis is of no use whatsoever.

  Sigmund Freud

  Funny, Witty, Race

  68 Copy quote

• Her only flair is in her nostrils.

  Pauline Kael

  Memorable, Flair

  Pauline Kael (1996). “Raising Kane and Other Essays”, Marion Boyars Publishers

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• I could never learn to like her, except on a raft at sea with no other provisions in sight.

  Mark Twain

  Inspiration, Sea, Sight

  Mark Twain (1960). “The autobiography of Mark Twain: including chapters now published for the first time”

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• Pushing forty? She's hanging on for dear life.

  Ivy Compton-Burnett

  Memorable, Hanging On, Pushing

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• You're a parasite for sore eyes.

  Gregory Ratoff

  Eye, Parasites, Sore Eyes

  63 Copy quote

• He made enemies as naturally as soap makes suds.

  Percival Wilde

  Enemy, Soap Bubbles, Made

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• He never said a foolish thing nor never did a wise one.

  John Wilmot

  Wise, Foolish, Said

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• Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

  Mark Twain

  Funny, Life, Fitness

  Mark Twain (2015). “Bite-Size Twain: Wit and Wisdom from the Literary Legend”, p.31, St. Martin's Press

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• She could carry off anything; and some people said that she did.

  Ada Leverson

  People, Said

  Ada Leverson (2012). “Love at Second Sight”, p.42, tredition

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• America is one long expectoration.

  Oscar Wilde

  America, Long, Insulting

  John Stuart Anderson, Oscar Wilde (1982). “The picture of Dorian Gray: a modern theatre adaptation of Oscar Wilde's classic novel”

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