Sarcastic Quotes - Page 8

• A modest little person, with much to be modest about.

  Winston Churchill

  Life, Humility, Sarcasm

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• The lack of money is the root of all evil.

  Mark Twain

  Funny, Bible, Money

  Mark Twain, John Sutton Tuckey (1980). “The Devil's Race-track: Mark Twain's Great Dark Writings : the Best from Which was the Dream? and Fables of Man”, p.337, Univ of California Press

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• Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right.

  Isaac Asimov

  Love, Inspirational, Funny

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• A wit with dunces, and a dunce with wits.

  Alexander Pope

  Dunces, Wit

  'The Dunciad' (1742) bk. 4, l. 90

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• Germans are flummoxed by humor, the Swiss have no concept of fun, the Spanish think there is nothing at all ridiculous about eating dinner at midnight, and the Italians should never, ever have been let in on the invention of the motor car.

  Bill Bryson

  Inspirational, Fun, Thinking

  Bill Bryson (2010). “Neither Here, Nor There: Travels in Europe”, p.25, Random House

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• The perfection of rottenness.

  William James

  Perfection

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• Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.

  Oscar Wilde

  Funny, Patriotic, Patriotism

  Oscar Wilde (2007). “Epigrams of Oscar Wilde”, p.144, Wordsworth Editions

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• I wish I'd known you when you were alive.

  Leonard Louis Levinson

  Wish, Alive, Known

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• He was so crooked, you could have used his spine for a safety-pin.

  Dorothy L. Sayers

  Safety Pins, Used, Spine

  Dorothy L. Sayers (2012). “The Nine Tailors”, p.249, Open Road Media

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• Her face was her chaperone.

  Rupert Hughes

  Sex, Faces, Insult

  Rupert Hughes (1914). “The Last Rose of Summer”

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• Had double chins all the way down to his stomach.

  Mark Twain

  Funny, Way, Stomach

  Mark Twain (2010). “Mark Twain's Own Autobiography: The Chapters from the North American Review”, p.231, Univ of Wisconsin Press

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• I will always love the false image I had of you.

  Ashleigh Brilliant

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• If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of that stuff?

  George Carlin

  Funny, Witty, Humorous

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• In the United States today, we have more than our share of the nattering nabobs of negativism. They have formed their own 4-H Club - the 'hopeless, hysterical hypochondriacs of history.'

  Spiro T. Agnew

  United States, Clubs, Today

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• When I see a man of shallow understanding extravagantly clothed, I feel sorry - for the clothes.

  Josh Billings

  Sorry, Men, Clothes

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• He's completely unspoiled by failure.

  Noel Coward

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• A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries.

  Will Rogers

  Funny, Horse, Differences

  "Will Rogers' Weekly Articles: The Roosevelt Years, 1933-1935".

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• The problem with Ireland is that it's a country full of genius, but with absolutely no talent.

  Hugh Leonard

  Country, Ireland And The Irish, Genius

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• Political correctness is tyranny with manners.

  Charlton Heston

  Funny, Witty, Atheist

  "Appreciation: Charlton Heston" by Richard Corliss, content.time.com. April 6, 2008.

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• A sophisticated rhetorician, inebriated with the exuberance of his own verbosity.

  Benjamin Disraeli

  Sophisticated, Egotistical, Exuberance

  Referring to Gladstone in a speech at a banquet in The Duke of Wellington's Riding School, Knightsbridge, 27 July 1878: 'The Times' 29 July 1878

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• He was a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.

  Mark Twain

  Waiting, Vacancy, Trinity

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• The trouble with children is that they're not returnable.

  Quentin Crisp

  Funny, Hilarious, Witty

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• I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.

  Oscar Wilde

  Funny, Witty, Clever

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• I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Life, Witty

  In Leo Rosten People I have Loved, Known or Admired (1970) "Groucho"

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• Curse the blasted, jelly-boned swines, the slimy, the belly-wriggling invertebrates, the miserable soddingrotters, the flaming sods, the sniveling, dribbling, dithering, palsied, pulse-less lot that make up England today. They've got white of egg in their veins, and their spunk is that watery it's a marvel they can breed.

  D. H. Lawrence

  Eggs, White, Pulse

  Letter to Edward Garnett, 3 July 1912, in Collected Letters (1962) vol. 1, p. 134

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