Sarcastic Quotes - Page 8

• A modest little person, with much to be modest about.

  Winston Churchill

  Life, Humility, Sarcasm

  29 Copy quote

• Useless as a pulled tooth.

  Mary Roberts Rinehart

  Teeth, Useless

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• The lack of money is the root of all evil.

  Mark Twain

  Funny, Bible, Money

  Mark Twain, John Sutton Tuckey (1980). “The Devil's Race-track: Mark Twain's Great Dark Writings : the Best from Which was the Dream? and Fables of Man”, p.337, Univ of California Press

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• He is a fine friend. He stabs you in the front.

  Leonard Louis Levinson

  Friendship, Fine, Fronts

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• A wit with dunces, and a dunce with wits.

  Alexander Pope

  Dunces, Wit

  'The Dunciad' (1742) bk. 4, l. 90

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• The perfection of rottenness.

  William James

  Perfection

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• Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.

  Oscar Wilde

  Funny, Patriotic, Patriotism

  Oscar Wilde (2007). “Epigrams of Oscar Wilde”, p.144, Wordsworth Editions

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• I wish I'd known you when you were alive.

  Leonard Louis Levinson

  Wish, Alive, Known

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• He was so crooked, you could have used his spine for a safety-pin.

  Dorothy L. Sayers

  Safety Pins, Used, Spine

  Dorothy L. Sayers (2012). “The Nine Tailors”, p.249, Open Road Media

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• Had double chins all the way down to his stomach.

  Mark Twain

  Funny, Way, Stomach

  Mark Twain (2010). “Mark Twain's Own Autobiography: The Chapters from the North American Review”, p.231, Univ of Wisconsin Press

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• I will always love the false image I had of you.

  Ashleigh Brilliant

  16 Copy quote

• Her face was her chaperone.

  Rupert Hughes

  Sex, Faces, Insult

  Rupert Hughes (1914). “The Last Rose of Summer”

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• If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of that stuff?

  George Carlin

  Funny, Witty, Humorous

  184 Copy quote

• In the United States today, we have more than our share of the nattering nabobs of negativism. They have formed their own 4-H Club - the 'hopeless, hysterical hypochondriacs of history.'

  Spiro T. Agnew

  United States, Clubs, Today

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• When I see a man of shallow understanding extravagantly clothed, I feel sorry - for the clothes.

  Josh Billings

  Sorry, Men, Clothes

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• He's completely unspoiled by failure.

  Noel Coward

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• A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries.

  Will Rogers

  Funny, Horse, Differences

  "Will Rogers' Weekly Articles: The Roosevelt Years, 1933-1935".

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• The problem with Ireland is that it's a country full of genius, but with absolutely no talent.

  Hugh Leonard

  Country, Ireland And The Irish, Genius

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• Political correctness is tyranny with manners.

  Charlton Heston

  Funny, Witty, Atheist

  "Appreciation: Charlton Heston" by Richard Corliss, content.time.com. April 6, 2008.

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• A sophisticated rhetorician, inebriated with the exuberance of his own verbosity.

  Benjamin Disraeli

  Sophisticated, Egotistical, Exuberance

  Referring to Gladstone in a speech at a banquet in The Duke of Wellington's Riding School, Knightsbridge, 27 July 1878: 'The Times' 29 July 1878

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• He was a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.

  Mark Twain

  Waiting, Vacancy, Trinity

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• The trouble with children is that they're not returnable.

  Quentin Crisp

  Funny, Hilarious, Witty

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• I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.

  Oscar Wilde

  Funny, Witty, Clever

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• I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Life, Witty

  In Leo Rosten People I have Loved, Known or Admired (1970) "Groucho"

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• Curse the blasted, jelly-boned swines, the slimy, the belly-wriggling invertebrates, the miserable soddingrotters, the flaming sods, the sniveling, dribbling, dithering, palsied, pulse-less lot that make up England today. They've got white of egg in their veins, and their spunk is that watery it's a marvel they can breed.

  D. H. Lawrence

  Eggs, White, Pulse

  Letter to Edward Garnett, 3 July 1912, in Collected Letters (1962) vol. 1, p. 134

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