Stupidity Quotes - Page 13

• If England are going to win this match, they're going to have to score a goal.

  Jimmy Hill

  Winning, Goal, England

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• Hot oil! We need hot oil!... Forget the water balloons!

  Gary Larson

  Oil, Water, Hot

  Gary Larson, Steve (FRW) Martin (2003). “The Complete Far Side: 1980-1994”, Andrews McMeel Pub

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• This would be a better place for children if parents had to eat spinach.

  Groucho Marx

  Children, Parent, Would Be

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• If you pray hard enough, water will run uphill. How hard? Why, hard enough to make water run uphill, of course!

  Robert A. Heinlein

  Running, Water, Religion

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• I believe that this country's policies should be heavily biased in favor of nondiscrimination.

  William J. Clinton

  Country, Believe, Favors

  Clinton, William J. (1994). “Public Papers of the Presidents of the United States: William J. Clinton, 1993”, p.487, Best Books on

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• On every commercial flight, the traveler is told, "Your seat cushion can be used as a flotation device". The question is, why doesn't the plane just become a boat?

  Sam Ewing

  Flight, Boat, Used

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• The only really good vegetable is Tabasco sauce. Put Tabasco sauce in everything. Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin. The next best vegetable is the jalapeno pepper. It has the virtue of turning salads into practical jokes.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Vegetables, Cooking, Jalapenos

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “The Bachelor Home Companion: A Practical Guide to Keeping House Like a Pig”, p.57, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

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• Winfield goes back to the wall. He hits his head on the wall and it rolls off! It's rolling all the way back to second base! This is a terrible thing for the Padres!

  Jerry Coleman

  Wall, Way, Rolling

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• People who say that only young people voted on the Internet, those who didn't see Pele play, forget that children are not orphans. There's always a father who buys the computer and perhaps influences their vote. I won the people's vote.

  Diego Maradona

  Children, Father, Play

  "Snorting, Smuggling, and Spinning". www.theguardian.com. December 12, 2000.

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• My ex-wife is a water sign and I'm an earth sign. Together we made mud.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Water, Wife

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• The best way to fight stupidity, is by ignoring it.

  Kelly Kelly

  Fighting, Way, Best Way

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• God has placed clear limits on Man’s intelligence, but none on his stupidity.

  John Corapi

  Men, Limits, Clear

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• The world has made everything else and still it can't make peace. And the reason it can't make peace is because of the evil, ignorance and stupidity. I have songs that explain these facts. And that's the blues.

  Willie Dixon

  Song, Ignorance, Evil

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• If anyone knew where they were, I'd send the ISDBB (Incredibly Stupid and Dumb Beyond Belief) award to the two guys who tried to break in to the Ohio penitentiary.

  Erma Bombeck

  Funny, Stupid, Awards

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• What is wrong with the prosaic Englishman is what is wrong with the prosaic men of all countries: stupidity.

  George Bernard Shaw

  Funny, Country, Men

  George Bernard Shaw (2012). “Man and Superman: A Comedy and a Philosophy”, p.14, The Floating Press

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• There is more to be said for stupidity than people imagine. Personally I have a great admiration for stupidity. It is a sort of fellow-feeling, I suppose.

  Oscar Wilde

  Funny, People, Feelings

  Oscar Wilde (2016). “Aphorisms”, p.7, Oscar Wilde

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• To be looked upon as a fool by an idiot is a true connoisseur's delight.

  Georges Courteline

  Delight, Fool, Idiot

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• Eisenhower's career demonstrated how it is possible to fool all the people all the time...'I may be stupid,' he once said at a press conference, 'but at least I'm sincere!' Actually, he was neither, but it suited his purpose to play the part of the bumbling man of good will who was 'not an expert in these matters' but somehow would do his best.

  Gore Vidal

  Stupid, Men, Play

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• It's like these people are programmed by Karl Rove. What he wants is to have liberal critics ridicule Bush because he says 'nucular' and 'misunderestimate' and talks with a probably fake Texas accent and so on, because then can come back with the big propaganda apparatus saying, 'See, those elite liberals who run the world and are sitting around drinking French wine and eating quiche don't understand us ordinary guys'; regular guys like the guy working on the assembly line and George Bush, who is going back to his ranch to cut brush.

  Noam Chomsky

  Running, Drinking, Wine

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• There's something scary about stupidity made coherent.

  Tom Stoppard

  Stupid, Scary, Made

  Tom Stoppard (2014). “The Real Thing”, p.54, Faber & Faber

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• The Organization of American States couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel.

  Lyndon B. Johnson

  Stupid, Organization, Boots

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• THESE are the desolate, dark weeks when nature in its barrenness equals the stupidity of man. The year plunges into night and the heart plunges lower than night.

  William Carlos Williams

  Heart, Dark, Night

  Ian D. Copestake, William Carlos Williams (2004). “Rigor of Beauty: Essays in Commemoration of William Carlos Williams”, p.100, Peter Lang

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• We have not been scuffling in this waste - howling wilderness for the right to be stupid. All this waste.

  Toni Cade Bambara

  Stupid, Waste, Wildness

  "The Salt Eaters".

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• I'm before him on my knees, and he kisses me He assumes I lose my reason and I do. Men are stupid, men are vain, Love's disgusting, love's insane, A humiliating business-oh how true.

  Stephen Sondheim

  Love, Business, Stupid

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• I am so stupid that I cannot understand philosophy; the antithesis of this is that philosophy is so clever that it cannot comprehend my stupidity. These antitheses are mediated in a higher unity; in our common stupidity.

  Soren Kierkegaard

  Clever, Philosophy, Stupid

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