A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer.
When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!
I feel sorry for people who do not have a Bible to lean on.
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
There is no such thing as bad whiskey. Some whiskeys just happen to be better than others. But a man shouldn't fool with booze until he's fifty; then he's a damn fool if he doesn't.
I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.
Science and art are only too often a superior kind of dope, possessing this advantage over booze and morphia: that they can be indulged in with a good conscience and with the conviction that, in the process of indulging, one is leading the higher life.
I don't even drink! I can't stand the taste of alcohol. Every New Year's Eve I try one drink and every time it makes me feel sick. So I don't touch booze - I'm always the designated driver.
It was all that stuff about taking your parents' car when you're 13, sneaking booze into rock shows and ditching school with your friends. I could relate to that as a former teenager, rather than as a present parent.
All the songs we do are basically about one of three things: booze, sex or rock n roll.
I know he was definitely beaten by her. I saw it many times. But we had a different way of dealing with her. He'd let her have more and more booze until she passed out.
I think a guy who's had just the right amount of booze can sing the blues a hell of a lot better than a guy who is stone sober.
What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
Any man who eats dessert is not drinking enough.
You can't be as old as I am without waking up with a surprised look on your face every morning.
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