Sarcasm Quotes - Page 5

• At the best, sarcasms, bitter irony, scathing wit, are a sort of swordplay of the mind. You pink your adversary, and he is forthwith dead; and then you deserve to be hung for it.

  Christian Nestell Bovee

  Mind, Irony, Bitter

  Christian Nestell Bovee (1862). “Intuitions and Summaries of Thought”, p.207

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• A modest little person, with much to be modest about.

  Winston Churchill

  Life, Sarcastic, Humility

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• One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.

  Oscar Wilde

  Love, Funny, Sarcastic

  Oscar Wilde (2004). “The Best of Oscar Wilde: Selected Plays and Writings”, p.144, Penguin

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• [on pop idol Donny Osmond] He has Van Gogh's ear for music.

  Billy Wilder

  Life, Music, Sarcastic

  "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

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• For your information, I would like to ask a question.

  Samuel Goldwyn

  Funny, Sarcastic, Witty

  "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

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• The old system of having a baby was much better than the new system, the old system being characterized by the fact that the man didn't have to watch.

  Dave Barry

  Sarcastic, Baby, Men

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• It's a plastic surgeon you need, not a doctor

  John Cleese

  Sarcastic, Doctors, Needs

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• Many wealthy people are little more than janitors of their possessions.

  Frank Lloyd Wright

  Sarcastic, Money, People

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• The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.

  Victor Borge

  Funny, Sarcastic, Differences

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• Satirists gain the applause of others through fear, not through love.

  William Hazlitt

  Love, Gains, Applause

  William Hazlitt (1837). “Characteristics: in the manner of Rochefoucault's Maxims [by W. Hazlitt].”, p.31

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• There`s a good sense of fun and lack of sarcasm in the Texans, maybe a little earnestness which is kind of why I found it quite Australian.

  Rachel Griffiths

  Fun, Littles, Kind

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• By rights, satire is a lonely and introspective occupation, for nobody can describe a fool to the life without much patient self-inspection.

  Frank Moore Colby

  Lonely, Rights, Self

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• Avoid sarcasm. Don't insist on the last word.

  Ford Frick

  Sarcastic, Lasts, Last Words

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  A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

  Bob Hope

  Funny, Hilarious, Sarcastic

  Quoted in Alan Harrington, Life in the Crystal Palace (1959).

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• When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

  Mark Twain

  Love, Funny, Motivational

  Mark Twain (2012). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.121, Courier Corporation

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• Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Funny, Jealousy, Sarcastic

  Cynic's Word Book (1906) p. 41

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• It is as hard to satirize well a man of distinguished vices, as to praise well a man of distinguished virtues.

  Jonathan Swift

  Men, Vices, Praise

  Jonathan Swift (1861). “The Works of Jonathan Swift ...: With Cop'ous Notes and Additions”, p.612

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• I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Sarcastic, Crazy

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• I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.

  John Cleese

  Sarcastic, Business, Hatred

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• We are suffering from too much sarcasm.

  Marianne Moore

  Sarcastic, Suffering, Criticism

  Marianne Moore, Patricia C. Willis (1986). “The complete prose of Marianne Moore”, Viking Pr

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• Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Sarcastic, Horse

  1937 Line delivered in A Day at the Races (screenplay by George Seaton, Robert Pirosh and George Oppenheimer).

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• Blows are sarcasms turned stupid.

  George Eliot

  Stupid, Blow, Stupidity

  George Eliot (2013). “The Complete Novels of George Eliot: Adam Bede + The Lifted Veil + The Mill on the Floss + Silas Marner + Romola + Brother Jacob + Felix Holt the Radical + Middlemarch + Daniel Deronda”, p.2215, e-artnow

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• I would like to live in Manchester, England. The transition between Manchester and death would be unnoticeable.

  Mark Twain

  Sarcastic, Transition, Would Be

  Mark Twain, Bob Blaisdell (2013). “The Wit and Wisdom of Mark Twain”, p.27, Courier Corporation

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• The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.

  Ogden Nash

  Sarcastic, Cat, Trouble

  "The Face is Familiar: The Selected Verse of Ogden Nash".

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• I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

  Mark Twain

  Funny, Life, Death

  Mark Twain (2014). “Mark Twain on Common Sense: Timeless Advice and Words of Wisdom from America's Most-Revered Humorist”, p.61, Skyhorse Publishing, Inc.

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