Comedy Quotes - Page 37

• If I'm not on tour, I can run down to the comedy club and do a little stand-up. If you're an actor, you can't go - I guess there's forms of it.

  Louis C. K.

  Running, Actors, Clubs

  Source: www.avclub.com

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• I want my name to be a brand in comedy. I hope my name stands for comedic excellence.

  Chris Rock

  Names, Excellence, Want

  Source: www.oprah.com

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• For the most part, comedy is the only fair part of show business.

  Chris Rock

  Shows, Show Business, Fairs

  Source: www.oprah.com

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• A comedian has to live in his head. All this comedy comes from a lonely place. When you're surrounded by an entourage, you're not living in your head.

  Chris Rock

  Lonely, Comedian, Entourage

  Source: www.rollingstone.com

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• The tagline behind "House of Lies" is funny, dirty, business. The show is a comedy satire about how big business operates. Most Americans that work in corporate America should be able to relate to this show.

  Larenz Tate

  Lying, Dirty, America

  Source: blogs.indiewire.com

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• To me, being brave is an element that is so important with stand-up comedy. It's not essential. There are many comics who were just funny, and that's fine, too. But that's never been what I was trying to do in comedy. I was always trying to do something that involved not pandering to the audience.

  Bill Maher

  Always Trying, Brave, Important

  Source: www.usatoday.com

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• I did Scottish footballer of the year this year, attempted to do some comedy at that. Not the brightest people in the world. There were seven O-Levels in that room, and they were all mine.

  Frankie Boyle

  Funny, Humor, Years

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• I've always thought that comedy was just another dramatic expression. I try to measure the amount of truth in a work rather than just looking at the generic distinction between comedy and drama. There's a lot of bullshit drama that leaves you totally cold. And there's a lot of wasted comedy time too. But when you get something honest, it doesn't matter what label you give it.

  Harold Ramis

  Drama, Expression, Giving

  "Harold Ramis, Seeker" by Ray Pride, newcityfilm.com. February 24, 2014.

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• Comedy is grievances. It's a recitation of grievances - whether they're inconsequential, superficial - like "my wife shops too much", or "kids today", all those old-fashioned themes - or, if it's deeper, and somewhat more thoughtful, about social imbalance and inequities, and the folly of human behavior. It's usually a complaint.

  George Carlin

  Kids, Thoughtful, Wife

  Source: mavericksofthemind.com

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• My goal in life is to be as happy as a studio audience.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Funny, Goal, Life Is

  FaceBook post by Jim Gaffigan from Feb 05, 2013

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• Stand-up comedy had an interesting effect on me in terms of how I started to think about constructing things, because I really loved the interstices, the linkages, or lack thereof.

  Mark Leyner

  Thinking, Interesting, Linkages

  Interview with Brian Joseph Davis, www.believermag.com.

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• I think horror comedies tend to skew more comedy than horror, for the most part.

  Elijah Wood

  Thinking, Horror

  Source: screenrant.com

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• Comedy is a very lucrative business now, but when everyone first went into it, it didn't make sense from a financial standpoint.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Firsts, Financial, Make Sense

  "Jim Gaffigan Talks to Brian Regan About Hating Being Called a 'Clean' Comedian, Resisting Hollywood, and Playing Big Venues". Interview with Jim Gaffigan, www.vulture.com. September 23, 2015.

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• I personally have no interest in being a star or a celebrity. I want my stand-up comedy and how I think as a comedian to be recognized and successful.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Stars, Successful, Thinking

  Source: www.vulture.com

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• Sometimes I get drunk and I get into arguments with taxi drivers. And I get out the cab and I slam the door. That's not the way to win an argument with a taxi driver. The way to win is you get out of the cab and you leave the door open. And then he has to step out and come around and close that door. And while he's doing that, I'm on the other side opening the other doors-and we just go around and around and around, and I got my own Benny Hill situation going on in life.

  Hannibal Buress

  Funny, Winning, Doors

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• My neighbor's not even listening to me. He's all excited about some garden hose he bought at Brookstone. He's convinced it was designed by NASA. "Actually, it's got two nozzles, one for the hot and one for the..." Really? Is it long enough to go around both our necks and the chimney so we can tandem jump off of this? That's all I really care about you and your little garden hose.

  Bill Burr

  Funny, Garden, Two

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• People are too afraid of uptown. A lot of people will tell you, like, "Don't go to Harlem. You can never go there. 'Cause as soon as you get there, they kill you." That's what people think. As soon as you arrive in Harlem, someone just stabs you in the face right away. That's people's image of Harlem: just everyone standing around waiting for lost white people to kill all day. "Did you see any? I didn't either."

  Louis C. K.

  Funny, Thinking, White

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• One time I was at a swimming pool with my kids, a public pool. I had my daughter, my six year old, on my arm like this. She was like clamped on, and she's kicking. ... And then she got off and another random child just clamped on. It's like a rat. "Get off of me." "But I love you." "I don't know you, kid."

  Louis C. K.

  Funny, Daughter, Children

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• You ever go to shop for tuna, and it says "dolphin safe", and you look at it and kind of go, "Yeah, but"-like somehow you think it's not going to be as good? Like, "I want to do the right thing-but it's probably kind of bland without the dolphin."

  Louis C. K.

  Funny, Thinking, Want

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• Why can't we have racism that's ignorant but nice? You could have stereotypes that are positive about race. You could say, "Those Chinese people, they can fly!" "You know about the Puerto Ricans? They're made of candy!"

  Louis C. K.

  Funny, Nice, Race

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• I think TV remotes should have a button that allows you to kill the person on the screen.

  George Carlin

  Funny, Thinking, Should Have

  George Carlin (2002). “Napalm & Silly Putty”, Hyperion

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• But the way they phrase those things when you get to the voting booth, you don't know which way you're voting, cause it's like, "Should we not eat unbabies not on this not day?" .... So you vote no on it, and then it's on the news the next day. "Well, 74% of Americans have decided it's time to eat babies."

  Kyle Cease

  Funny, Baby, Next Day

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• Nate Silver is now forecasting Oscar winners. The only area of life in which he has no expertise, ironically, is life itself.

  Norman Chad

  Funny, Oscars, Winner

  Twitter post from Feb 23, 2013

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• You ever mix two different groups of friends? That can be stressful. You always feel like you have to prep 'em. You're like, "These people over here, uh, they don't think I drink. And don't be thrown by my British accent."

  Jim Gaffigan

  Funny, Thinking, Two

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• "I got up early because I wanted to." - Nobody

  Jim Gaffigan

  Funny, Up Early, Wanted

  FaceBook post by Jim Gaffigan from Feb 22, 2013

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