Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
I drink to make other people more interesting.
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
Time flies when you are having fun.
Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
Life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, so let's all get wasted and have the time of our lives.
Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.
There is no bad whiskey. There are only some whiskeys that aren't as good as others.
To chase the glowing hours with flying feet.
Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
A lady came up to me one day and said 'Sir! You are drunk', to which I replied 'I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly.
I've stopped drinking, but only while I'm asleep.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
[N]o party is any fun unless seasoned with folly.
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and likes to see us happy.
The dying process begins the minute we are born, but it accelerates during dinner parties.
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
I try not to drink too much because when I'm drunk, I bite.
On with the dance! let joy be unconfin'd No sleep till morn, when Youth and Pleasure meet To chase the Glowing Hours with Flying feet
No man does right by a woman at a party.
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