Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one's present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason
Drink the first. Sip the second slowly. Skip the third.
One martini is all right. Two are too many, and three are not enough.
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
Drink today, and drown all sorrow; You shall perhaps not do it tomorrow; Best, while you have it, use your breath; There is no drinking after death.
Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer.
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and likes to see us happy.
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
Drink today, and drown all sorrow; you shall perhaps not do tomorrow.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Health - what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.
If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.
What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat - in other words, turn you into an adult.
No poems can please long or live that are written by water drinkers.
Best while you have it use your breath, There is no drinking after death.
Farewell, woman! I intend
Henceforth every night to sit
With my lewd, well-natured friend,
Drinking to engender wit.
When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvelous personality that started you drinking in the first place.
My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
If all be true that I do think, There are five reasons we should drink: Good wine - a friend - or being dry - Or lest we should be by and by - Or any other reason why.
BRANDY, n. A cordial composed on one part thunder-and-lightning, one part remorse, two parts bloody murder, one part death-hell-and-the-grave and four parts clarified Satan.
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
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