Drunk Quotes - Page 40

• You know, people ask, "How does the chemistry happen?" It's like being in a bar when you're drunk. You see the person, and you don't know why, it just works. And it's like everything goes in slow-motion.

  Sandra Bullock

  People, Slow Motion, Doe

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• Sometimes I like to get drunk and buy things on the internet, and then I wake up the next day and find 'em on my doorstep, and it's like Christmas. I get excited.

  Marilyn Manson

  Next Day, Wake Up, Ems

  Reddit AMA, www.reddit.com. April 3, 2015.

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• When people are really drunk they have a propensity to harm themselves and others - they fall off buildings, they drive into other cars.

  Emily Yoffe

  Fall, People, Car

  "Short Haul". "Dear Prudence" with Emily Yoffe, www.slate.com. August 17, 2015.

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• I stopped drinking when I was 23. I kind of started when I was 13, so it was a 10-year run. But I just became a bad, annoying drunk child, so when I stopped, I'd done a lot of things I wasn't proud of.

  John Mulaney

  Running, Children, Drinking

  Source: www.avclub.com

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• I could write a book on the things I've done drunk.

  Kid Rock

  Book, Writing, Done

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• As a child I was a good boy. Even if I wasn't playing tennis I don't think I'd have done things like smoking or getting drunk. I'm lucky I never liked the taste of alcohol - I know, I'm Scottish so what's wrong with me? - but I never even liked the smell of the stuff. It's the same with smoking, it never appealed to me. I guess I missed out on my Kevin-The-Teenager phase.

  Andy Murray

  Children, Teenager, Thinking

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• The one thing I never want to do is act drunk or act high. You don’t do it from a mental kind of place because then you’re just acting.

  Eva Mendes

  Acting, Want, Kind

  Interview with Vicki Hogarth, uk.askmen.com. November 20, 2009.

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• Most guys my age are boring human beings. They sit in bars, get drunk, and then go home to tell their kids the way to rule their lives, while they're absolutely stewed out of their brains.

  Ozzy Osbourne

  Home, Kids, Guy

  Source: jontrott.com

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• I've been in clubs. I don't like being in an enclosed place with really loud music, and a lot of drunk people. It's not my idea of a good time. It's just such a miserable life.

  Joaquin Phoenix

  Ideas, People, Clubs

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• I observe a lot of you drunk people. What I do is I just let myself go there and fully commit to that drunk thing, not that I've ever done that myself. I've had a lot of practice. Let's be honest.

  Leslie Mann

  Practice, People, Done

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• I spilled some vodka on the carpet, and I vacuumed it up, and the vacuum got drunk. I had to take the Hoover to detox.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Humor, Vacuums

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• Some comics get drunk before a show. I don't. When I get drunk, I don't want to stand in front of a bunch of people that I don't know. That does not sound comfortable. Why have all these people gathered? And why am I elevated and not facing the same way as everyone else? And what is this electric stick in my hand? I want a chair too!

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Humor, Hands

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• I would imagine the inside of a bottle of cleaning fluid is really clean. I would imagine a vodka bottle is really drunk.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Humor, Bottles

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• Another drunk goes up to a parking meter, puts in a quarter, the dial goes to 60. The drunk says, "Huh. I lost 100 pounds!"

  Henny Youngman

  Funny, Humor, Parking Meters

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• I was having a good time before, but you grow up after a couple years and realize, "I can't get drunk like this every night." Things change.

  Mac DeMarco

  Growing Up, Couple, Night

  Source: www.self-titledmag.com

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• I'm grateful for a lot of things. One is not being a drunk wreck. Or losing all four limbs in some ridiculous East Village bus accident that I was so destined for.

  Augusten Burroughs

  Grateful, East, Village

  Source: www.bookslut.com

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• When I might be on a business trip, a lot of people are partying and they may be drunk or under the influence of something that I'm not under the influence of, and that might influence their actions. I'm not even blaming them, but being in the club and not knowing what everybody's motives are, I have to take precautions damn near every week, especially when I go out of town.

  Gucci Mane

  Party, Knowing, People

  Source: www.thefader.com

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• There are a lot of college writing textbooks that will include essays and short stories, and after reading the story or essay, there will be questions such as "Have YOU Had any experience with a pedophile in YOUR family?" or "When was the last time you saw YOUR mother drunk?" and they're just really good at prompting stories. You answer the question, and sometimes that can spring into a story.

  David Sedaris

  Mother, Spring, Reading

  Reddit AMA, www.reddit.com. October 8, 2014.

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• I love Austin, but last time I was in town for twelve hours. I was exhausted, drunk and miserable. But none of that was Austin's fault.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Twelve, Austin, Lasts

  Reddit AMA, www.reddit.com. July 9, 2013.

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• A lot of people think that since I'm drunk in my stories, I must be drunk 24 hours a day. What kind of stupid logic is that? It'd be like if you saw Michael Jordan at a restaurant and were like, "Why aren't you in your basketball uniform?" I leave out way more than I put in.

  Tucker Max

  Basketball, Stupid, Thinking

  Source: www.complex.com

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• I don't have any interest in going out to clubs. I love people, and I love socializing, I just don't have any interest in being drunk.

  Taylor Swift

  People, Clubs, Going Out

  Source: www.seventeen.com

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• I'm not for drunk driving - however, the states ought to decide. Different states have different penalties for drunk driving because they're states and they get to do that. If people of one state want to be lighter on drunk drivers, they're wrong. That's their business.

  Tucker Carlson

  People, Different, Want

  "The Situation" with Tucker Carlson, www.nbcnews.com. June 17, 2005.

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• You don't really have to do the things that your character is doing. But us actors, we use something called sense memory. I've certainly been drunk before, and part of my job is to recall that without getting drunk.

  Jeff Bridges

  Jobs, Memories, Character

  "Jeff Bridges Abides". Interview with Tim Mcdonnell, www.motherjones.com. November, 2011.

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• Nobody, at least sitting in my seat , is defending drunk driving. I am not for drunk driving.

  Tucker Carlson

  Sitting, Driving, Seats

  "The Situation" with Tucker Carlson, www.nbcnews.com. December 7, 2005.

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• So I took her back to my place and we did it doggy style, not because we planned it that way, but that's just how she passed out.

  Dave Attell

  Funny, Humor, Style

  "Skanks for the Memories". Comedy album by Dave Attell, 2003.

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