Drunk Quotes - Page 37

• Dogs are like their owners. If you get an uptight owner, you have an uptight dog. If you have an assertive owner, half drunk who thinks he owns the whole track, the dog will be the same. If you see that kind of person, he doesn't own a miniature Poodle.

  James R. Heath

  Dog, Thinking, Track

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• I'm not going to get drunk at a bar. There are younger girls who look up to me. So I do my best not to stray too far.

  Ashley Greene

  Girl, Bars, Looks

  "Ashley Greene: The Bombshell". Interview with Josh Patner, www.glamour.com. March 28, 2011.

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• Every time I got drunk, this girl named Nikki would show up. When I got drunk, I was just a different person. This is a totally different person than Lisa. When these two started to battle it out, I had to create a third person to come in and straighten the two of them out. Nina, my evil twin who came from within, who I blame my sins on. (satanic alter) All the problems I did have stemmed from what I was doing - I was creating all these different personalities.

  Lisa Lopes

  Girl, Two, Creating

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• The thing that I think a lot of guys need to know how to do is not take your mother's advice about honesty being the best policy. Listen to your cool, drunk uncle who tells you to lie. Those are the relationships that last.

  Adam DeVine

  Mother, Uncles, Honesty

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• He has been known by many names: Lucifer, Beelzabub, Belial, the Prince of Lies, Satan, and at a party once an obnoxious drunk kept calling him "Dude."

  Gary Larson

  Lying, Party, Names

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• I've been drunk only once in my life. But that lasted for twenty-three years.

  W. C. Fields

  Years, Twenties, Three

  Quoted in The Quotations of W. C. Fields, ed. Martin Lewis (1976)

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• He is not drunk, who from the floor, can rise and stand and shout for more

  Ogden Nash

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• Most of us had never seen a sober redneck before, and we have the Reagan Landslide to testify that none of us ever wants to see one again. It was a horrifying apparition. And ever since Jimmy Carter, all of us rednecks have had to be very careful to be drunk rednecks lest we turn into some kind of awful creature with big buck teeth and a State Department full of human-rights yahoos.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Redneck, Rights, Teeth

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• I love a massage and a bath. I don't drink - I'll have a sip, but I've never been drunk - and I don't smoke. I envy people who have those releases. They just have a drink or a cigarette, and they feel better. I have to brave it through the whole day on my own.

  Jennifer Lopez

  Feel Better, People, Envy

  "Jennifer Gets It Right". Interview with Lesley Goober, www.cosmopolitan.com. October 26, 2005.

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• People have different personalities when they're drunk or take heroin, or whatever drugs.

  Mick Jagger

  People, Personality, Drug

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• I love being in an arena that has like 10,000 people and huge crowds. I want to do a show at like the Viper room so badly. Like go up on stage and thrash myself around, go jump into the crowd. You can effing swear, get drunk on stage and do whatever you want basically.

  Avril Lavigne

  Love Is, People, Crowds

  Source: www.justjared.com

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• I can be drunk until 6 in the morning, and then I don't have to show up to work until 14 hours later.

  Lewis Black

  Morning, Hours, Shows

  "Lewis Black on politics, aging, and being the guy who yells". Interview with Drew Fortune, www.avclub.com. September 7, 2012.

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• The good show is not about people fighting or getting drunk or throwing up on each other, or hating each other - it's about celebrating people's talent.

  Cat Deeley

  Hate, Fighting, People

  "Tim Gunn and Cat Deeley on Good Hosts, Bad Reality Shows and Unfair Judges". Interview with Debra Birnbaum, variety.com. August 5, 2014.

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• I used to get drunk in venues after my shows and sign the walls "Ed was here." So if you see that, it was me.

  Ed Sheeran

  Wall, Used, Shows

  Source: www.buzzfeed.com

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• Imagination is like the drunk man who lost his watch and must get drunk again to find it.

  Guy Davenport

  Men, Imagination, Watches

  Guy Davenport (1997). “The Geography of the Imagination: Forty Essays”, p.5, David R. Godine Publisher

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• I rely on the promise, God is kind to women, fools, and drunk people.

  Jane Welsh Carlyle

  People, Promise, Fool

  Jane Welsh Carlyle, Thomas Carlyle (1887). “Letters and Memorials of Jane Welsh Carlyle”

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• Even an idle phone conversation when driving takes a 40 percent bite out of your focus and, surprisingly, can have the same effect as being drunk.

  Gary W. Keller

  Phones, Focus, Driving

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• Friends don't let heads drive drunk!

  Al Snow

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• Bill Clinton sitting on Air Force One getting his hair cut while people around the country cooled their heels and waited for him, became a metaphor for a populist president who had gotten drunk with the perks of his own power and was sort of, you know, not sensitive to what people wanted.

  Dee Dee Myers

  Country, Cutting, Hair

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• When someone is in a car accident and they're driving at 100 mph, drunk, who's tape do you think his listening to at that time? Think about it.

  Billie Joe Armstrong

  Thinking, Mph, Car

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• Remember when you're young and you think your dad is Superman? And then you grow up and realized he's just a drunk who wears a cape.

  Dave Attell

  Funny, Growing Up, Dad

  "Skanks for the Memories". Comedy album, February 4, 2003.

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• Here's a tip: never get drunk while wearing a hooded sweatshirt. You will eventually think there's someone right behind you.

  Dave Attell

  Thinking, Behind You, Sweatshirts

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• There are people who have an image of me as being rude and inconsiderate. But I'm completely the opposite, because I was raised not to be. I might have been tripping over myself drunk, but I was always courteous.

  Slash

  Opposites, People, Rude

  "Slash: What I've Learned" by Cal Fussman, www.esquire.com. December 26, 2011.

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• When you're drunk, you always think you're not. If you even drink at all don't get behind the wheel.

  Bam Margera

  Thinking, Wheels, Drink

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• My mother was an amateur singer, my father was an amateur drunk.

  Ozzy Osbourne

  Mother, Father, Singers

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