Witty Quotes - Page 22

• There is one thing even more vital to science than intelligent methods; and that is, the sincere desire to find out the truth, whatever it may be.

  Charles Pierce

  Truth, Science, Intelligent

  46 Copy quote

• I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix.

  Dan Quayle

  Funny, Phoenix, California

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change.

  Dan Quayle

  Funny, Freedom, Believe

  Quoted in Wall Street Journal, 26 May 1989

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• For NASA, space is still a high priority.

  Dan Quayle

  Funny, Science, Space

  Esquire, Remarks to NASA employees, August 1992.

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• It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.

  Dan Quayle

  Funny, Stupid, Political

  32 Copy quote

• This President is going to lead us out of this recovery.

  Dan Quayle

  Funny, Recovery, Political

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• The global importance of the Middle East is that it keeps the Far East and the Near East from encroaching on each other.

  Dan Quayle

  Political, Middle East, Importance

  18 Copy quote

• If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

  George Carlin

  Inspirational, Funny, Trying

  183 Copy quote

• The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. God has a three-day weekend.

  George Carlin

  Funny, Christian, Sarcastic

  5 Copy quote

• I'm single because I was born that way.

  Mae West

  Sarcastic, Freedom, Women

  Mae West (1967). “The wit and wisdom of Mae West”

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• I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.

  Woody Allen

  Funny, Life, Humorous

  44 Copy quote

• The heart wants what it wants.

  Woody Allen

  Inspirational Love, Humorous, Heart

  Quoted in USA Today, 24 Aug. 1992 See Pascal 14

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• I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.

  Shirley Temple

  Funny, Christmas, Mother

  Quoted in Leslie Halliwell, Halliwell's Filmgoer's Companion (1984)

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• And my parents finally realize I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: They rent out my room.

  Woody Allen

  Humorous, Parenting, Rooms

  In Eric Lax Woody Allen and his Comedy (1975) ch. 1

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• Talking to oneself, I have often thought, is the best way to be sure of intelligent and witty conversation.

  Grant Morrison

  Intelligent, Talking, Way

  7 Copy quote

• My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.

  Woody Allen

  Funny, Teacher, School

  24 Copy quote

• Smile. Nod. Say something witty before he finds out what an incredible geek you are.

  Ellen Hopkins

  Geek, Incredibles

  Ellen Hopkins (2012). “Ellen Hopkins: Crank Trilogy”, p.52, Simon and Schuster

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• One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.

  Mark Twain

  Funny, Life, Honesty

  Pudd'nhead Wilson ch. 7, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar" (1894)

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• Conversation should be pleasant without scurrility, witty without affectation, free without indecency, learned without conceitedness, novel without falsehood.

  William Shakespeare

  Memorable, Should, Conversation

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• The cocktail filled him with a whirling exhilaration behind which he was aware of devastating desires—to rush places in fast motors, to kiss girls, to sing, to be witty. ... He perceived that he had gifts of profligacy which had been neglected. —chapter 8

  Sinclair Lewis

  Girl, Kissing, Desire

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• [He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Crazy, Silly

  "Fictional character: Rufus T. Firefly". "Duck Soup", www.imdb.com. 1933.

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• Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind; Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave. I know. But I do not approve. And I am not resigned.

  Edna St. Vincent Millay

  Beautiful, Intelligent, Brave

  Buck in the Snow (1928) "Dirge Without Music"

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• I'm so overexposed, I'm making Paris Hilton look like a recluse.

  Barack Obama

  Funny, Sarcastic, Wisdom

  "The Senator's Humble Beginning" by Mark Leibovich, www.washingtonpost.com. February 24, 2005.

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• If you're too open-minded; your brains will fall out.

  Lawrence Ferlinghetti

  Funny, Sarcastic, Fall

  149 Copy quote

• Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.

  Henry David Thoreau

  Powerful, Humorous, New Relationship

  8 Copy quote