Witty Quotes - Page 25

• For NASA, space is still a high priority.

  Dan Quayle

  Funny, Science, Space

  Esquire, Remarks to NASA employees, August 1992.

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• It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.

  Dan Quayle

  Funny, Stupid, Political

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• This President is going to lead us out of this recovery.

  Dan Quayle

  Funny, Recovery, Political

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• The global importance of the Middle East is that it keeps the Far East and the Near East from encroaching on each other.

  Dan Quayle

  Political, Middle East, Importance

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• Curran grinned and my heart made a little jump. I didn’t expect that. “That’s it? That’s your witty comeback?” “Yep.” Eloquence ’R’ Us. When in trouble, keep it monosyllabic—safer that way.

  Ilona Andrews

  Heart, Littles, Way

  Ilona Andrews (2009). “Magic Strikes”, p.43, Penguin

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• What I need is a woman who is something, anything: either very beautiful or very kind or in the last resort very wicked; very witty or very stupid, but something.

  Alfred de Musset

  Beautiful, Stupid, Wicked

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• Pride only helps us to be generous; it never makes us so, any more than vanity makes us witty.

  George Eliot

  Pride, Vanity, Helping

  George Eliot (2016). “George Eliot Collection: Middlemarch, Adam Bede, Silas Marner, The Lifted Veil, and The Mill on the Floss”, p.581, Xist Publishing

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• I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it.

  Mae West

  Sarcastic, Humorous, Would Be

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• Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.

  Groucho Marx

  Love, Funny, Humorous

  Monkey Business (motion picture) (1931). Screenplay by Will B. Johnstone and S. J. Perelman.

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• Nothing uses up alcohol faster than political argument.

  Robert A. Heinlein

  Alcohol, Political, Use

  Robert A Heinlein (1966). “Moon Is Harsh Mistres”, Berkley

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• I have no idea what I am doing but incompetence has never prevented me from plunging in with enthusiasm.

  Woody Allen

  Humorous, Ideas, Enthusiasm

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• By the end of the session, I am no one at all. Haymitch started drinking somewhere around witty, and a nasty edge has crept into his voice. "I give up, sweetheart. Just answer the questions and try not to let the audience see how openly you despise them.

  Suzanne Collins

  Giving Up, Drinking, Voice

  Suzanne Collins (2009). “The Hunger Games”, p.113, Scholastic Inc.

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• Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them.

  Oscar Wilde

  Family, Time, Children

  'A Woman of No Importance' (1893) act 2

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• Trying to be witty leads to lying, more or less.

  Antoine de Saint-Exupery

  Lying, Trying

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• Getting married is like trading in the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one.

  Mae West

  Marriage, Sarcastic, Humorous

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• You may admire a girl's curves on the first introduction, but the second meeting shows up new angles.

  Mae West

  Girl, Sarcastic, Humorous

  Mae West (1967). “The wit and wisdom of Mae West”

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• Dr. Seuss provided "ingenious and uniquely witty solutions to the standing problem of the juvenile fantasy writer: how to find, not another Alice, but another rabbit hole.

  Clifton Fadiman

  Rabbits, Drs, Rabbit Holes

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• Whitney Houston’s cover of “I Will Always Love You” was constantly on my FM Walkman radio around that time. I think that made me cry because I associated it with absolutely no one.

  Tina Fey

  Love You, Thinking, Houston

  Tina Fey (2011). “Bossypants”, p.48, Hachette UK

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• Hail, hail Freedonia, land of the free!

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Humorous, Land

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• I was a little excited but mostly blorft. "Blorft" is an adjective I just made up that means 'Completely overwhelmed but proceeding as if everything is fine and reacting to the stress with the torpor of a possum.' I have been blorft every day for the past seven years.

  Tina Fey

  Stress, Mean, Past

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• (My proudest moment as a child was the time I beat my uncle Pierre at Scrabble with the seven-letter word FARTING.)

  Tina Fey

  Uncles, Children, Scrabble

  "Bossypants". Book by Tina Fey, October 13, 2011.

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• MAKE STATEMENTS also applies to us women: Speak in statements instead of apologetic questions. No one wants to go to a doctor who says, “I’m going to be your surgeon? I’m here to talk to you about your procedure? I was first in my class at Johns Hopkins, so?” Make statements, with your actions and your voice.

  Tina Fey

  Class, Voice, Doctors

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• It will never be perfect, but perfect is overrated. Perfect is boring on live TV.

  Tina Fey

  Perfect, Tvs, Boring

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• Even the intellectual crowd will have none of me. Physically, I look like one of them. Graying at the temples, I walk with a slight limp and wear thick glasses.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Humorous, Glasses

  Groucho Marx (2008). “Memoirs Of A Mangy Lover”, p.94, Da Capo Press

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• Genius is more often found in a cracked pot than in a whole one.

  E. B. White

  Funny, Senior, Science

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