Witty Quotes - Page 28

• Genius is more often found in a cracked pot than in a whole one.

  E. B. White

  Funny, Senior, Science

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• Everything in life is somewhere else, and you get there in a car.

  E. B. White

  Funny, Humorous, Somewhere Else

  E. B. White (2011). “In the Words of E.B. White: Quotations from America's Most Companionable of Writers”, p.56, Cornell University Press

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• The next time you have a thought... let it go.

  Ron White

  Inspirational, Funny, Humorous

  Ron White (2007). “I Had the Right to Remain Silent...But I Didn't Have the Ability”, p.137, Penguin

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• Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them.

  Oscar Wilde

  Family, Time, Children

  'A Woman of No Importance' (1893) act 2

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• You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.

  Gilbert K. Chesterton

  Spiritual, Truth, Powerful

  Daily News, February 25, 1905.

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• I see when men love women. They give them but a little of their lives. But women when they love give everything.

  Oscar Wilde

  Love, Funny, Boyfriend

  Oscar Wilde (2007). “The Collected Works of Oscar Wilde”, p.452, Wordsworth Editions

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• A man can be happy with any woman, as long as he does not love her.

  Oscar Wilde

  Love, Inspirational, Funny

  Oscar Wilde (1997). “Collected Works of Oscar Wilde: The Plays, the Poems, the Stories and the Essays Including De Profundis”, p.124, Wordsworth Editions

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• Experience is one thing you can't get for nothing.

  Oscar Wilde

  Funny, Positive, Work

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• Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

  Oscar Wilde

  Funny, Work, Book

  Quoted in Frank Harris, Oscar Wilde: His Life and Confessions (1916)

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• I love nature, I just don't want to get any of it on me.

  Woody Allen

  Humorous, Want, Nature Love

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• Women with pasts interest men because they hope history will repeat itself.

  Mae West

  Funny, Sarcastic, Humorous

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• Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Girlfriend, Crazy

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• Never ask while you are doing it if what you are doing is fun. Don't introduce even your most reliably witty acquaintance as someone who will set the table on a roar.

  Christopher Hitchens

  Fun, Tables, Introducing

  Christopher Hitchens (2010). “Hitch 22: A Memoir”, p.306, Atlantic Books Ltd

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• I have never been able to understand the complaint that a story is "depressing" because of its subject matter. What depresses me are stories that don't seem to know these things go on, or hide them in resolute chipperness; "witty stories," in which every problem is the occasion for a joke; "upbeat" stories that flog you with transcendence. Please. We're grown ups now.

  Tobias Wolff

  Depressing, Stories, Goes On

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• Can anything be more disgusting than to hear people called 'educated' making small jokes about eating ham, and showing themselves empty of any real knowledge as to the relation of their own social and religious life to the history of the people they think themselves witty in insulting? [...] The best thing that can be said of it is, that it is a sign of the intellectual narrowness—in plain English, the stupidity which is still the average mark of our culture.

  George Eliot

  Religious, Real, Stupid

  George Eliot (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of George Eliot (Illustrated)”, p.6957, Delphi Classics

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• Well, don't expect us to be too impressed. We just saw Finnick Odair in his underwear.

  Suzanne Collins

  Funny, President Snow, Katniss

  Suzanne Collins (2010). “Mockingjay (The Hunger Games, Book 3)”, p.82, Scholastic Inc.

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• Pride only helps us to be generous; it never makes us so, any more than vanity makes us witty.

  George Eliot

  Pride, Vanity, Helping

  George Eliot (2016). “George Eliot Collection: Middlemarch, Adam Bede, Silas Marner, The Lifted Veil, and The Mill on the Floss”, p.581, Xist Publishing

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• Getting married is like trading in the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one.

  Mae West

  Marriage, Sarcastic, Humorous

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• I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people.

  Al Gore

  Funny, Regret, Latin

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• Sun is bad for you. Everything our parents said was good is bad. Sun, milk, red meat...college.

  Woody Allen

  Cute, Humorous, College

  Annie Hall, www.imdb.com. 1977.

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• A deranged person is supposed to have the strength of ten men. I have the strength of one small boy... with polio.

  Woody Allen

  Humorous, Boys, Men

  "Fictional character: Kleinman". "Shadows and Fog", www.imdb.com. 1991.

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• Nothing uses up alcohol faster than political argument.

  Robert A. Heinlein

  Alcohol, Political, Use

  Robert A Heinlein (1966). “Moon Is Harsh Mistres”, Berkley

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• We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives.

  Woody Allen

  Humorous, Books And Movies, Geek

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• The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.

  George Carlin

  Funny, Sarcastic, Work

  "Why My Journey Of Grief Is So Like A Butterfly’s Metamorphosis" by Laurie Burrows Grad, www.huffingtonpost.com. August 4, 2016.

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• You can leave in a huff. Or you can leave in a minute and a huff.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Humorous, Soup

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