Witty Quotes - Page 24

• Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.

  Bill Vaughan

  Funny, Happiness, Money

  64 Copy quote

• In the game of life, it's a good idea to have a few early losses, which relieves you of the pressure of trying to maintain an undefeated season.

  Bill Vaughan

  Inspirational, Funny, Life

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• By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember it.

  Bill Vaughan

  Funny, Elderly, Years

  27 Copy quote

• It is easy for me to love myself, but for ladies to do it is another question altogether.

  Johnny Vegas

  Funny, Humorous, Las Vegas

  48 Copy quote

• Never try to be witty with U.S. airport officials. It's always lost on them and you'll find yourself being put back on the plane.

  Johnny Vegas

  Airports, Finding Yourself, Trying

  4 Copy quote

• I'm all for bringing back the birch, but only between consenting adults.

  Gore Vidal

  Sex, Adults, Funny Sex

  Quoted in Sunday Times Magazine, 16 Sept. 1973

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• The superfluous, a very necessary thing.

  Voltaire

  Funny, Smart, Humorous

  1736 Le Mondain.

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• When I got my first TV set, I stopped caring so much about having close relationships with other people.

  Andy Warhol

  Funny, Caring, Commercial Art

  "The Philosophy of Andy Warhol: From A to B and Back Again".

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• I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.

  John Waters

  Love, Life, Sex

  "Weekly Meditations for Healthy Sex (Dec. 14-20)" by Alexandra Katehakis, www.huffingtonpost.com. December 14, 2012.

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• Cultivate your curves - they may be dangerous but they won't be avoided.

  Mae West

  Funny, Sarcastic, Humorous

  Mae West (1967). “The wit and wisdom of Mae West”

  96 Copy quote

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• It isn't what I do, but how I do it. It isn't what I say, but how I say it, and how I look when I do it and say it.

  Mae West

  Sarcastic, Humorous, Looks

  Mae West (1967). “The wit and wisdom of Mae West”

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• A woman in love can't be reasonable - or she probably wouldn't be in love.

  Mae West

  Love, Funny, Life

  Mae West (1967). “The wit and wisdom of Mae West”

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• A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up.

  Mae West

  Relationship, Confidence, Sarcastic

  Mae West (1967). “The wit and wisdom of Mae West”

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• I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.

  Mae West

  Sarcastic, Real, Women

  Mae West (1967). “The wit and wisdom of Mae West”

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• Those who are easily shocked should be shocked more often.

  Mae West

  Change, Sarcastic, Humorous

  17 Copy quote

• Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly.

  Mae West

  Funny, Sarcastic, Humorous

  95 Copy quote

• The best way to hold a man is in your arms.

  Mae West

  Inspirational, Sarcastic, Humorous

  Mae West (1967). “The wit and wisdom of Mae West”

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• I'm a woman of very few words, but lots of action.

  Mae West

  Sarcastic, Humorous, Sassy

  Mae West (1967). “The wit and wisdom of Mae West”

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• I've been things and seen places.

  Mae West

  Sarcastic, Humorous

  I'm No Angel (motion picture) (1933)

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• I see you're a man with ideals. I better be going before you've still got them.

  Mae West

  Sarcastic, Humorous, Men

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• Genius is more often found in a cracked pot than in a whole one.

  E. B. White

  Funny, Senior, Science

  57 Copy quote

• Everything in life is somewhere else, and you get there in a car.

  E. B. White

  Funny, Humorous, Somewhere Else

  E. B. White (2011). “In the Words of E.B. White: Quotations from America's Most Companionable of Writers”, p.56, Cornell University Press

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• The next time you have a thought... let it go.

  Ron White

  Inspirational, Funny, Humorous

  Ron White (2007). “I Had the Right to Remain Silent...But I Didn't Have the Ability”, p.137, Penguin

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• Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them.

  Oscar Wilde

  Family, Time, Children

  'A Woman of No Importance' (1893) act 2

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• I see when men love women. They give them but a little of their lives. But women when they love give everything.

  Oscar Wilde

  Love, Funny, Boyfriend

  Oscar Wilde (2007). “The Collected Works of Oscar Wilde”, p.452, Wordsworth Editions

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