Witty Quotes - Page 24

• I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change.

  Dan Quayle

  Funny, Freedom, Believe

  Quoted in Wall Street Journal, 26 May 1989

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• For NASA, space is still a high priority.

  Dan Quayle

  Funny, Science, Space

  Esquire, Remarks to NASA employees, August 1992.

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• It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.

  Dan Quayle

  Funny, Stupid, Political

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• This President is going to lead us out of this recovery.

  Dan Quayle

  Funny, Recovery, Political

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• The global importance of the Middle East is that it keeps the Far East and the Near East from encroaching on each other.

  Dan Quayle

  Political, Middle East, Importance

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• This is how we court girls in America. We grab them and kiss them. And if they don't like it, we do it again, harder and longer, until they surrender. It saves us hours of witty repartee.

  Lisa Kleypas

  Girl, Kissing, America

  Lisa Kleypas (2008). “A Wallflower Christmas: A Novel”, p.35, Macmillan

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• The only real laughter comes from despair.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Laughter, Real

  34 Copy quote

• he's a genius, she's a genius, wow, you know alot of geniuses, you should meet some stupid people sometime, you might learn something

  Woody Allen

  Stupid, Humorous, People

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• I love nature, I just don't want to get any of it on me.

  Woody Allen

  Humorous, Want, Nature Love

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• Ack!" I said. Fearless master of the witty dialogue, that's me.

  Jim Butcher

  Fearless, Harry Dresden, Masters

  Jim Butcher (2010). “Changes: A Novel of the Dresden Files”, p.29, Penguin

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• Most modern calendars mar the sweet simplicity of our lives by reminding us that each day that passes is the anniversary of some perfectly uninteresting event.

  Oscar Wilde

  Funny, Anniversary, Sweet

  Oscar Wilde (2016). “A Critic in Pall Mall”, p.227, Oscar Wilde

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• When I got my first TV set, I stopped caring so much about having close relationships with other people.

  Andy Warhol

  Funny, Caring, Commercial Art

  "The Philosophy of Andy Warhol: From A to B and Back Again".

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• Never ask while you are doing it if what you are doing is fun. Don't introduce even your most reliably witty acquaintance as someone who will set the table on a roar.

  Christopher Hitchens

  Fun, Tables, Introducing

  Christopher Hitchens (2010). “Hitch 22: A Memoir”, p.306, Atlantic Books Ltd

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• I have never been able to understand the complaint that a story is "depressing" because of its subject matter. What depresses me are stories that don't seem to know these things go on, or hide them in resolute chipperness; "witty stories," in which every problem is the occasion for a joke; "upbeat" stories that flog you with transcendence. Please. We're grown ups now.

  Tobias Wolff

  Depressing, Stories, Goes On

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• I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.

  John Waters

  Love, Life, Sex

  "Weekly Meditations for Healthy Sex (Dec. 14-20)" by Alexandra Katehakis, www.huffingtonpost.com. December 14, 2012.

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• What I need is a woman who is something, anything: either very beautiful or very kind or in the last resort very wicked; very witty or very stupid, but something.

  Alfred de Musset

  Beautiful, Stupid, Wicked

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• I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people.

  Al Gore

  Funny, Regret, Latin

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• People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

  A. A. Milne

  Funny, Inspiring, People

  "Fictional character: Winnie The Pooh". "Christopher Robin", www.imdb.com. 2018.

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• Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.

  Groucho Marx

  Love, Funny, Humorous

  Monkey Business (motion picture) (1931). Screenplay by Will B. Johnstone and S. J. Perelman.

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• Experience is one thing you can't get for nothing.

  Oscar Wilde

  Funny, Positive, Work

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• The guy's life drunk, I think, makes Candide look like a sourpuss. Does he even know that death exists?

  Jandy Nelson

  Thinking, Drunk, Guy

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• By the end of the session, I am no one at all. Haymitch started drinking somewhere around witty, and a nasty edge has crept into his voice. "I give up, sweetheart. Just answer the questions and try not to let the audience see how openly you despise them.

  Suzanne Collins

  Giving Up, Drinking, Voice

  Suzanne Collins (2009). “The Hunger Games”, p.113, Scholastic Inc.

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• For women, the best aphrodisiacs are words. The G-spot is in the ears. He who looks for it below there is wasting his time.

  Isabel Allende

  Love, Inspirational, Life

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Cultivate your curves - they may be dangerous but they won't be avoided.

  Mae West

  Funny, Sarcastic, Humorous

  Mae West (1967). “The wit and wisdom of Mae West”

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• In the game of life, it's a good idea to have a few early losses, which relieves you of the pressure of trying to maintain an undefeated season.

  Bill Vaughan

  Inspirational, Funny, Life

  30 Copy quote