Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank.
I drink to make other people more interesting.
I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my scotch, I say, I'm thirsty, not dirty.
My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.
When Richie Cunningham drank too many beers, his parents sat him down and explained their concerns. If you live on this earth, you find out that we are all the same.
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
When I drank, I had a very different attitude towards my playing. It was sloppier but I kind of liked it that way. It was like the alcohol was telling my mind what to do.
I drank the silence of God from a spring in the woods.
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
We sat around and I fed them barbecue and whiskey. And pretty soon everyone started to compete with each other on the guitars. It seemed the more everyone drank and ate, the more everyone got into it.
I had a lousy marriage and I drank too much.
I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
I slept with faith and found a corpse in my arms on awakening; I drank and danced all night with doubt and found her a virgin in the morning.
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer.
I feel sorry for people who do not have a Bible to lean on.
Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.
Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.
Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication.
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
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