Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
There cannot be good living where there is not good drinking.
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.
One sip of this will bathe the drooping spirits in delight, beyond the bliss of dreams.
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
One martini is all right. Two are too many, and three are not enough.
Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss.
There comes a time in every woman's life when the only thing that helps is a glass of champagne.
We were not a hugging people. In terms of emotional comfort it was our belief that no amount of physical contact could match the healing powers of a well made cocktail.
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.
Too much of anything is bad, but too much Champagne is just right.
My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.
My only regret in life is that I did not drink more wine.
Not everyone who drinks is a poet. Some of us drink because we're not poets.
If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.
I drink Champagne when I win, to celebrate...and I drink Champagne when I lose, to console myself.
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
I feel sorry for people who do not have a Bible to lean on.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.
I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.
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