Comedian Quotes - Page 34

• As a comedian, I can walk out in front of 5000 people and not worry about a thing. Not a thing, believe me. But to stand up a face a camera and crew of maybe 15 guys and get up tight about it - to me that's weird.

  Bill Cosby

  Believe, People, Worry

  Playboy Interview, ispy65.tripod.com. May 1969.

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• I think that if you, as a comedian, are trying to be in people's face, then you've got to come up with new stuff every year. We're in a mass consumption phase where people take things for granted and want things to be instant when these are not things that can be instant.

  Keenen Ivory Wayans

  Thinking, Years, People

  Source: www.nbcnews.com

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• A comedian, or any artist, needs their time to develop what they are doing. There has to be some respect for the art form and when it's allowed to be seen.

  Keenen Ivory Wayans

  Art, Needs, Form

  Source: www.nbcnews.com

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• Audiences have proved time and again that they don't want a steady diet of any entertainer airing his social views - especially if he's a comedian.

  Johnny Carson

  Views, Want, Social

  Source: www.alex-haley.com

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• The classic comedian says there's nothing that's taboo; if you laugh at one thing you've got to laugh at everything, that comedy is taking people to dark areas and showing them the light.

  Bo Burnham

  Dark, Light, Laughing

  Source: thelatest.co.uk

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• For some comedians it feels so cool to be like: 'I'll say anything, man!'. I'm not quite there yet.

  Bo Burnham

  Men, Say Anything, Feels

  Source: thelatest.co.uk

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• I know it's the comedian's instinct to say, "Do it, man, nothing's off-limits! It's cool, bro!" I don't know if that's the answer for me. "Do I really want to make a joke about a miscarriage when a woman in the audience might have had one?" I don't worship comedy; at the end of the day I don't fall to the altar of comedy unquestioningly.

  Bo Burnham

  Fall, Miscarriage, Men

  Source: www.popmatters.com

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• The biggest piece of advice that I give young comedians is: If it's your goal to get where I'm at, go do something else. Because you'll never get here. Never. The odds are so bad. Because not only do you have to be a really, really strong comedian but you also have to be lucky. And most people don't get that combination.

  Ron White

  Strong, Odds, People

  Source: www.dead-frog.com

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• I myself grew up when radio was very important. I'd come home from school and turn on the radio. There were funny comedians and wonderful music, and there were plays. I used to pass time with radio.

  Kurt Vonnegut

  Home, School, Play

  Kurt Vonnegut (2011). “Kurt Vonnegut: The Last Interview: And Other Conversations”, p.138, Melville House

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• Has anyone seen me on Letterman? Two million people watch that show and I don't know where they are. You might have seen this next comedian on the Late Show, but I think more people have seen me at the store. That should be my introduction. "You might have seen this next comedian at the store," and people would say "Hell yes I have!"

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Humor, Thinking

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• As a comedian, you have to start the show strong and you have to end the show strong. Those are the two key elements. You can't be like pancakes. You're all happy at first, but then by the end, you're sick of 'em.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Strong, Humor

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• I was booked into the Riviera Hotel in Las Vegas with three other comedians. We all were using the Riviera in-house shampoo, so we all had equal shine and bounce.

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Humor, Vegas

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• When you're in Hollywood and you're a comedian, everybody wants you to do other things. All right, you're a stand-up comedian, can you write us a script? That's not fair. That's like if I worked hard to become a cook, and I'm a really good cook, they'd say, "OK, you're a cook. Can you farm?"

  Mitch Hedberg

  Funny, Writing, Humor

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• I wasn't funny as a kid. I remember enjoying comedians, but I never understood it was a job choice or a profession.

  Elayne Boosler

  Jobs, Kids, Choices

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• Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.

  George Carlin

  Funny, Mean, Humor

  "The G20 Needs a Permanent Home" by Craig and Marc Kielburger, www.huffingtonpost.com. November 18, 2010.

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• The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done".

  George Carlin

  Funny, Time, Jobs

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• I'm a comedian, which is the opposite of a lifestyle that equips you to be a parent.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Opposites, Parent, Lifestyle

  "'Fat' Dad Jim Gaffigan On Kids, Comedy And Apartment Living". "Weekend Edition" with Scott Simon, www.npr.org. May 2, 2013.

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• One can always lament, you know — but to laugh in the face of life, that's very hard. And for me the great tragedian should also be a great comedian.

  Martha Graham

  Laughing, Faces, Should

  "Martha Graham Reflects on Her Art and a Life in Dance". archive.nytimes.com. March 31, 1985.

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• I like seeing what the comedian thinks is funny, not just what they think I'll think is funny.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Thinking, Seeing

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• Comedians and Feminists... are natural enemies, because stereotypically-speaking, feminists can't take a joke and... comedians can't take criticism.

  Louis C. K.

  Feminist, Enemy, Criticism

  "Yes, I Did Say That!", www.hollywoodreporter.com. July 17, 2012.

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• A comedian is simply a different kind of therapist. A comedian is a psychologist and a psychiatrist rolled into one. Except I can't prescribe medicine. (You still need a doctorate, which is bullshit.) Okay, so I'm not like a psychiatrist. Fine. But I'm still like a psychologist (except I can't diagnose or treat mental illness).

  Eugene Mirman

  Medicine, Bullshit, Different

  Eugene Mirman (2009). “The Will to Whatevs: A Guide to Modern Life”, p.26, Harper Collins

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• I wanted to be a tragedienne. I only wanted sad parts. When mother read the press notices when I was on the road, saying I was a 'comedienne,' the tears rolled down my cheeks. I thought comedians had to have black on their faces, or red beards.

  Dorothy Gish

  Mother, Black, Tears

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• I grew up in a food-obsessed Italian family, so food was always front and center in my life. I was a food obsessed person who morphed into a comedian and tried to figure out a way to make fun of my cake and eat it too.

  Nadia Giosia

  Fun, Italian, Cake

  "World Chefs: No-nonsense food with a pinch of punk". Interview with Dorene Internicola, www.reuters.com. August 16, 2011.

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• I've found nothing but support and generosity from older comics. I think comedians are a lot nicer than the stigma is, at least from my experience.

  Bo Burnham

  Thinking, Generosity, Support

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• Appurv Gupta brings you a unique point of view that no other comedian in India does. Well worth a watch.

  Papa CJ

  Unique, Views, India

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