It is most absurdly said, in popular language, of any man, that he is disguised in liquor; for, on the contrary, most men are disguised by sobriety.
To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a "support group". Salvation in a can!
Drinking beer doesn't make you fat, it makes you lean...Against bars, tables, chairs, and poles.
I drink exactly as much as I want, and one drink more.
Beer, if drank with moderation, softens the temper, cheers the spirit, and promotes health.
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?
Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compounding a felony.
When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvelous personality that started you drinking in the first place.
When people ask me if Dean Martin drank, let me put it this way. If Dracula bit Dean in the neck, he'd get a Bloody Mary.
I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won't let himself get snotty about it.
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
Alcohol gives you infinite patience for stupidity.
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.
Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss.
One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts.
Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer.
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.
It’s a great advantage not to drink among hard drinking people.
Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.
I busted out of the place in a hurry and went to a saloon and drank beer and said that for the rest of my life I'd never take a job in a place where you couldn't throw cigarette butts on the floor. I was hooked on this writing for newspapers and magazines.
I only drank for three years of my life, but I drank enough in those three years to last me the rest of my life... It's a religious thing.
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