Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and likes to see us happy.
Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
I drink to make other people more interesting.
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.
I feel sorry for people who do not have a Bible to lean on.
I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.
The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.
Work like you don't need the money.
Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living.
I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
or simply:
