Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
I drink to make other people more interesting.
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.
Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.
When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!
I've never been drunk, but often I've been overserved.
Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.
Good people drink good beer.
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.
I drink to make other people interesting.
Alcohol is a very necessary article. It enables Parliament to do things at eleven at night that no sane person would do at eleven in the morning.
I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I had lost exactly two weeks.
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer.
My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them.
My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and likes to see us happy.
I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.
Work like you don't need the money.
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