Comedian Quotes - Page 15

• I'm not a comedy writer, I'm a comedian, so I only write stuff that I would want to say.

  Anthony Jeselnik

  Writing, Stuff, Want

  "Comedian Anthony Jeselnik Is Eager To Offend You". Interview with Jordan Zakarin, www.buzzfeed.com. July 9, 2013.

  4 Copy quote

  Show source

• I always wanted to be a comedian. I loved comedy since I was a little kid, and while I was at university I started doing stand up shows. Once I realized that I was good at it I quit college and left although I had six months left. I went to England. I could have done the last six months but I realized that I was better at standup comedy than I was at singing opera.

  Jim Jefferies

  Kids, College, Singing

  Source: montrealrampage.com

  14 Copy quote

  Show source

• I wanted to do the comic strip. I tried to get it syndicated, and I sent some examples to a syndication company, and they sent me a rejection letter! I wasn't smart enough at the time to realize you shouldn't let rejection letters stop you. I thought that rejection letter meant I was not allowed to be a cartoonist in this world, so I put the rejection letter down and said, well, I'll be a stand-up comedian.

  Brian Regan

  Smart, Rejection, World

  Source: www.citypaper.com

  7 Copy quote

  Show source

• Many comedians consider themselves to be cutting edge. But why do we have to use the knife for the analogy. Let's use the spoon. I like to consider myself the big bowl-like area of the spoon that holds all the stuff you like.

  Brian Regan

  Cutting, Knives, Spoons

  Source: mauitime.com

  7 Copy quote

  Show source

• I just want to kind of tackle every kind of form that exists in the comedy world; whether it be stand-up or hidden camera or parody. Kind of slap it in a movie with hip-hop artists and actors, comedians and girls. I just want to do something fun.

  Pauly Shore

  Girl, Fun, Artist

  Source: www.bullz-eye.com

  7 Copy quote

  Show source

• When somebody mangles one of my jokes, that bothers me more than somebody saying that I'm the worst comedian ever.

  Hannibal Buress

  Worst, Bother, Jokes

  "Hannibal Buress on his new show and newfound celebrity". Interview with Miles Raymer, tv.avclub.com. July 7, 2015.

  8 Copy quote

  Show source

• I'm not a politician, I'm a comedian. I know my limitations.

  Bernie Mac

  Politician, Knows, Limitation

  Source: www.ign.com

  4 Copy quote

  Show source

• I love music. I've always wanted to do music, even when I started out as a comedian.

  Jamie Foxx

  Music Love, I Love Music, Wanted

  4 Copy quote

• If you like standup and decide that it's overtaking your life and want to hate it, watch 1,000 standup comedians who are trying to get on a TV show.

  Adam DeVine

  Hate, Tv Shows, Trying

  "Adam Devine on How to Throw a House Party". Interview with Emily Zemler, www.esquire.com. October 24, 2013.

  6 Copy quote

  Show source

• I found a great deal of relief and excitement watching comics when I was very young. My grandmother was very into them and so was my grandfather. They had a profound effect on me, so I just found myself watching comedians on the after-school shows: Merv Griffin and that kind of stuff.

  Marc Maron

  School, Grandmother, Profound

  Interview with Kyle Dowling, www.believermag.com.

  4 Copy quote

  Show source

• Whether people know the evolution of the conversation or not, I don't know, but thematically, as a comedian, I stay in the same ballpark - around my issues and my philosophy of life.

  Marc Maron

  Philosophy, Issues, People

  Interview with Kyle Dowling, www.believermag.com.

  4 Copy quote

  Show source

• I am a comedian but it's usually not a compliment to be called a prop comedian but I guess I sometimes use props. And I always confuse humorist with comedian. That's strange.

  Demetri Martin

  Use, Strange, Sometimes

  Source: www.thefutoncritic.com

  4 Copy quote

  Show source

• I think that if you, as a comedian, are trying to be in people's face, then you've got to come up with new stuff every year. We're in a mass consumption phase where people take things for granted and want things to be instant when these are not things that can be instant.

  Keenen Ivory Wayans

  Thinking, Years, People

  Source: www.nbcnews.com

  5 Copy quote

  Show source

• Audiences have proved time and again that they don't want a steady diet of any entertainer airing his social views - especially if he's a comedian.

  Johnny Carson

  Views, Want, Social

  Source: www.alex-haley.com

  7 Copy quote

  Show source

• The classic comedian says there's nothing that's taboo; if you laugh at one thing you've got to laugh at everything, that comedy is taking people to dark areas and showing them the light.

  Bo Burnham

  Dark, Light, Laughing

  Source: thelatest.co.uk

  83 Copy quote

  Show source

• If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.

  George Carlin

  Funny, Life, Smile

  George Carlin (1998). “Brain Droppings”, Hyperion

  13 Copy quote

  Show source

• But nowadays everybody's a comedian, even the weather girls and continuity announcers. We laugh at everything. Not intelligently anymore, not with sudden shock, astonishment, or revelation, just relentlessly and meaninglessly. No more rain showers in the desert, just mud and drizzle everywhere, occasionally illuminated by the flash of paparazzi.

  Douglas Adams

  Girl, Rain, Weather

  Douglas Adams (2009). “Mostly Harmless”, p.175, Pan Macmillan

  4 Copy quote

  Show source

• I've often heard it said a preacher might learn with a comedian for a teacher.

  Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

  Teacher, Might, Said

  Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1872). “Faust: A Tragedy”, p.21

  4 Copy quote

  Show source

• I like video games, but they're really violent. I'd like to play a video game where you help the people who were shot in all the other games. It'd be called 'Really Busy Hospital.

  Demetri Martin

  Funny, Motivational, Im Sorry

  7 Copy quote

• Two cannibals were eating a comedian, and one of them turns to the other and asks, 'Does this taste funny to you?

  Nicholas Sparks

  Two, Doe, Taste

  Twitter post from Jun 03, 2013

  17 Copy quote

  Show source

• Because they're probably long gone. Are you hurt?" Gabe asked with enough urgency that she realized he must have felt shiver in delayed reaction to the hole in the door. "No. No, I'm okay. What a about you? Are you hurt?" "Only if you count the fact that you damned near ripped off my plumbing groping around for my phone." She made a sound of exasperation. "Now? You pick now to become a comedian?" "It's all about timing," he whispered back.

  Cindy Gerard

  Hurt, Phones, Doors

  4 Copy quote

• In the most basic terms it was about how when we experience art without critical awareness we consent to the ideas being promoted, either intentionally or unintentionally, by the filmmaker. For instance, if you watch a racist comedian and laugh at his jokes, you are consenting to the prejudices inherent within them. Similarly, if you watch a movie which perpetuates conventional ideas about race, gender, etc., you are consenting to them and not affecting change in any way.

  Simon Pegg

  Art, Race, Ideas

  Simon Pegg (2010). “Nerd Do Well”, p.126, Random House

  6 Copy quote

  Show source

• Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.

  George Carlin

  Inspirational, Self Esteem, Humorous

  George Carlin (2001). “Napalm & Silly Putty”, Hyperion

  9 Copy quote

  Show source

• Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.

  George Carlin

  Funny, Humor, Stupid People

  George Carlin (2002). “Napalm & Silly Putty”, Hyperion

  20 Copy quote

  Show source

• To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Humorous, Ideas

  446 Copy quote