Comedian Quotes - Page 16

• I like video games, but they're really violent. I'd like to play a video game where you help the people who were shot in all the other games. It'd be called 'Really Busy Hospital.

  Demetri Martin

  Funny, Motivational, Im Sorry

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• Two cannibals were eating a comedian, and one of them turns to the other and asks, 'Does this taste funny to you?

  Nicholas Sparks

  Two, Doe, Taste

  Twitter post from Jun 03, 2013

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• Because they're probably long gone. Are you hurt?" Gabe asked with enough urgency that she realized he must have felt shiver in delayed reaction to the hole in the door. "No. No, I'm okay. What a about you? Are you hurt?" "Only if you count the fact that you damned near ripped off my plumbing groping around for my phone." She made a sound of exasperation. "Now? You pick now to become a comedian?" "It's all about timing," he whispered back.

  Cindy Gerard

  Hurt, Phones, Doors

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• In the most basic terms it was about how when we experience art without critical awareness we consent to the ideas being promoted, either intentionally or unintentionally, by the filmmaker. For instance, if you watch a racist comedian and laugh at his jokes, you are consenting to the prejudices inherent within them. Similarly, if you watch a movie which perpetuates conventional ideas about race, gender, etc., you are consenting to them and not affecting change in any way.

  Simon Pegg

  Art, Race, Ideas

  Simon Pegg (2010). “Nerd Do Well”, p.126, Random House

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• Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.

  George Carlin

  Inspirational, Self Esteem, Humorous

  George Carlin (2001). “Napalm & Silly Putty”, Hyperion

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• Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.

  George Carlin

  Funny, Humor, Stupid People

  George Carlin (2002). “Napalm & Silly Putty”, Hyperion

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• To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

  Steven Wright

  Funny, Humorous, Ideas

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• You’re so hilarious. You know, if this whole Daimon-slaying gig doesn’t work out for you, you should really consider being a comedian. The bright Barney hair color would just add to the overall entertainment factor.

  Sherrilyn Kenyon

  Hair, Color, Work Out

  Sherrilyn Kenyon (2013). “Inferno: Chronicles of Nick”, p.62, Macmillan

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• A comedian is not funny unless he is taking his demons out for a walk.

  Cynthia Heimel

  Comedy, Demon, Walks

  Cynthia Heimel (1988). “But Enough about You”, Fireside

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• I don't really like actors. Actors are like terrible comedians with no punch lines. It's all about them. They talk about themselves all the time. They bore the sh - t out of you.

  Joe Rogan

  Actors, Lines, Terrible

  "12/12: Joe Rogan at Celebrity Theatre in Phoenix". Interview with Randy Cordova, www.azcentral.com. December 9, 2014.

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• Why do all these people want [comedians] to be serious? The reason they want that is these are people who aren't funny. Anybody funny can be serious, but people who have no sense of humor, they can never be funny - and frankly, they're jealous. There's very few comic actors. Think about it. There aren't that many. It's hard because you have to be able to do both.

  Jon Lovitz

  Jealous, Thinking, People

  Source: www.avclub.com

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• Many comedians consider themselves to be cutting edge. But why do we have to use the knife for the analogy. Let's use the spoon. I like to consider myself the big bowl-like area of the spoon that holds all the stuff you like.

  Brian Regan

  Cutting, Knives, Spoons

  Source: mauitime.com

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• I'm honored that other comedians like what I do. That means the world to me. But at the same time when I'm on stage I'm not just trying to make the comedians laugh - I'm also trying to make the audience laugh. I want to make everybody laugh.

  Brian Regan

  Mean, Laughing, Trying

  Source: www.charlestoncitypaper.com

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• I just want to kind of tackle every kind of form that exists in the comedy world; whether it be stand-up or hidden camera or parody. Kind of slap it in a movie with hip-hop artists and actors, comedians and girls. I just want to do something fun.

  Pauly Shore

  Girl, Fun, Artist

  Source: www.bullz-eye.com

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• When somebody mangles one of my jokes, that bothers me more than somebody saying that I'm the worst comedian ever.

  Hannibal Buress

  Worst, Bother, Jokes

  "Hannibal Buress on his new show and newfound celebrity". Interview with Miles Raymer, tv.avclub.com. July 7, 2015.

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• I'm not a politician, I'm a comedian. I know my limitations.

  Bernie Mac

  Politician, Knows, Limitation

  Source: www.ign.com

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• If the audience is responding very well to comedians that are hacks, and I don't do well, I don't feel as bad, because I feel like their taste is different than mine. They're laughing at somebody I would never laugh at, so that makes it okay, because obviously our tastes are not in the same place. And comedy is subjective, so I feel like maybe the failure wasn't all mine. I don't think they ever would have really enjoyed me. So sometimes that's a little easier, but not much.

  Janeane Garofalo

  Thinking, Laughing, Different

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• When I began doing theatre in high school I saw that I could get laughs from people but I didn't really connect that to going on and becoming a comedian. I was interested in acting and while I was at Boston College I was part of an improv group, Mother's Fleabag, which had a long history and has been known as one of the best college improvisation groups in the U.S.

  Amy Poehler

  Mother, School, College

  Source: egomagazine.ae

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• Acting is the great love of my life. It gives you permission to use all parts of yourself. Permission to be the hero, the love interest, the comedian, the villain. Transformation excites me. So does truth. Nothing is more thrilling, hilarious, and tragic than the truth. Those things motivated me to become an actor. Also, they always have the best food on set.

  Blake Griffin

  Hero, Giving, Great Love

  Source: www.nerdprobs.com

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• If you like standup and decide that it's overtaking your life and want to hate it, watch 1,000 standup comedians who are trying to get on a TV show.

  Adam DeVine

  Hate, Tv Shows, Trying

  "Adam Devine on How to Throw a House Party". Interview with Emily Zemler, www.esquire.com. October 24, 2013.

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• As a comedian, I think we all look for those areas where the truth diverts from what people are saying. That's why politics is such a rich area for us, because politicians make promises, and they don't keep them, and when we point out the difference, we get the laugh.

  Bill Maher

  Thinking, Differences, People

  Interview with David Steinberg, www.interviewmagazine.com. November 30, 2008.

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• Whether people know the evolution of the conversation or not, I don't know, but thematically, as a comedian, I stay in the same ballpark - around my issues and my philosophy of life.

  Marc Maron

  Philosophy, Issues, People

  Interview with Kyle Dowling, www.believermag.com.

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• I am a comedian but it's usually not a compliment to be called a prop comedian but I guess I sometimes use props. And I always confuse humorist with comedian. That's strange.

  Demetri Martin

  Use, Strange, Sometimes

  Source: www.thefutoncritic.com

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• For me and most of my friends who are comedians, if you've been doing comedy for a while, your tolerance for things actually moves. I find it very hard to be shocked, and when other people aggressively take offense to something, I'm sometimes confused.

  Demetri Martin

  Confused, Moving, People

  Source: uproxx.com

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• I think that if you, as a comedian, are trying to be in people's face, then you've got to come up with new stuff every year. We're in a mass consumption phase where people take things for granted and want things to be instant when these are not things that can be instant.

  Keenen Ivory Wayans

  Thinking, Years, People

  Source: www.nbcnews.com

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