W. C. Fields Quotes - Page 6

Quotes about:

• If I ever found a church that didn't believe in knocking all the other churches, I might consider joining it.

  W. C. Fields

  Believe, Church, Joining

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• The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.

  W. C. Fields

  Drinking, Cost Of Living, Alcohol

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• I like my films to influence the audience. Even if it means tripping their aged grandparents with a cane when they get home.

  W. C. Fields

  Home, Mean, Grandparent

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• Thou shalt not kill anything less than a fifth.

  W. C. Fields

  Drinking, Fifth

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• Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.

  W. C. Fields

  Life, Swimming, Innovation

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• Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night

  W. C. Fields

  Night, Philadelphia, Towns

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• W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. ''I'm looking for a loop-hole,'' he explained.

  W. C. Fields

  Bible, Book, Reading

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• Remember, Lady Godiva put all she had on a horse and she lost her shirt!

  W. C. Fields

  Horse, Gambling, Remember

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• I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.

  W. C. Fields

  Beautiful, Drinking, Wine

  Never Give a Sucker an Even Break (motion picture) (1941).

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• I didn't say the meat was tough. I said I didn't see the horse that is usually outside.

  W. C. Fields

  Horse, Food, Meat

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• Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain unless you've used up all the other four-letter words.

  W. C. Fields

  Names, Four, Letters

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• I've been barbecued, stewed, screwed, tattooed, and fried by people claiming to be my friends. The human race has gone backward, not forward, since the days we were apes swinging through the trees.

  W. C. Fields

  Race, People, Tree

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• Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose--to make people laugh.

  W. C. Fields

  Business, People, Laughing

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• I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve.

  W. C. Fields

  Drinking, Beer, Stronger

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• Sleep! The most beautiful experience in life. Except drink.

  W. C. Fields

  Beautiful, Drinking, Sleep

  "Fictional character: Cuthbert J. Twillie". "My Little Chickadee", www.imdb.com. 1940.

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• How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil'ss Brew. I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon - and went right on stumbling for several days thereafter.

  W. C. Fields

  Beer, Devil, Encounters

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• I've been asked if I ever get the DTs. I don't know. It's hard to tell where Hollywood ends and the DTs begin.

  W. C. Fields

  Drinking, Hollywood, Ends

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• If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind.

  W. C. Fields

  Comedy, Prosperity, Behinds

  "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

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• All my available funds are completely tied up in cash.

  W. C. Fields

  Cash, Fund, Tied Up

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• There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.

  W. C. Fields

  Real, Two, Today

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• I ad lib most of my dialogue. If I did remember my lines, it would be too bad for me.

  W. C. Fields

  Would Be, Lines, Remember

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• I don't object to nine aces in one deck. But when a man lays down five aces in one hand... and besides, I know what I dealt him!

  W. C. Fields

  Men, Hands, Nine

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• Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!

  W. C. Fields

  Drinking, Together, Bars

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• I note the derogatory rumors concerning the use of alcoholic stimulants and lavish living. It is the penalty of greatness.

  W. C. Fields

  Greatness, Rumor, Use

  W. C. Fields (2016). “W.C. Fields by Himself: His Intended Autobiography with Hitherto Unpublished Letters, Notes, Scripts, and Articles”, p.143, Rowman & Littlefield

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• Ain't fit for man nor beast

  W. C. Fields

  Men, Fit, Beast

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