W. C. Fields Quotes - Page 4

Quotes about:

• I once donated a pint of my finest red corpuscles to the great American Red Cross and the doctor opined my blood was very helpful; contained so much alcohol they could use it to sterilize their instruments.

  W. C. Fields

  Drinking, Doctors, Blood

  7 Copy quote

• I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.

  W. C. Fields

  Funny, Time, Drinking

  15 Copy quote

• If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.

  W. C. Fields

  Drinking, Living My Life, Saloons

  17 Copy quote

• The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother.

  W. C. Fields

  Mom, Mother, Lawyer

  "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

  12 Copy quote

• We frequently hear of people dying from too much drinking. That this happens is a matter of record. But the blame is always placed on whisky. Why this should be I never could understand. You can die from drinking too much of anything - coffee, water, milk, soft drinks and all such stuff as that. And so as long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing. I will make mine whisky.

  W. C. Fields

  Drinking, Coffee, Simple

  W. C. Fields (2016). “W.C. Fields by Himself: His Intended Autobiography with Hitherto Unpublished Letters, Notes, Scripts, and Articles”, p.152, Rowman & Littlefield

  13 Copy quote

• A merry Christmas to all my friends except two.

  W. C. Fields

  Christmas, Two, My Friends

  8 Copy quote

• It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one's present or future thirst, the excellence of the cognac, or any other reason

  W. C. Fields

  Drinking, Wine, Excellence

  62 Copy quote

• Sex isn't necessary. You don't die without it, but you can die having it.

  W. C. Fields

  Sex, Dies

  8 Copy quote

• I didn't squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn't see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.

  W. C. Fields

  Horse, Used, Steak

  "Fictional character: The Great Man". "Never Give a Sucker an Even Break", 1941.

  11 Copy quote

• I like children. If they're properly cooked.

  W. C. Fields

  Children, Explanation, Ifs

  Fields for President ch. 7 (1940)

  11 Copy quote

• If it is a joint return, we are instructed to print the given names of both husband and wife. But since some of the names that husband and wife give each other are hardly suited to print, we must proceed cautiously.

  W. C. Fields

  Funny, Husband, Humorous

  W.C. Fields (2016). “Fields for President”, p.36, Rowman & Littlefield

  9 Copy quote

• Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

  W. C. Fields

  Food, Drinking, Beer

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  47 Copy quote

• How is the human race going to survive now that the cost of living has gone up two dollars a quart?

  W. C. Fields

  Cost Of Living, Race, Two

  9 Copy quote

• Marriage is better than leprosy only because it's easier to get rid of.

  W. C. Fields

  Leprosy, Easier

  4 Copy quote

• I drink therefore I am.

  W. C. Fields

  Funny, Clever, Drinking

  18 Copy quote

• Never mind what I told you - you do as I tell you.

  W. C. Fields

  Mind

  "Fictional character: Commodore Jackson". "Mississippi", 1935.

  5 Copy quote

• I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine

  W. C. Fields

  Nine, Cigar

  11 Copy quote

• I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.

  W. C. Fields

  New Year, Home, Worry

  25 Copy quote

• You can't cheat an honest man.

  W. C. Fields

  Truth, Honesty, Wine

  Title of motion picture (1939).

  14 Copy quote

• All things considered, I'd rather be in Philadelphia

  W. C. Fields

  Philadelphia, All Things

  5 Copy quote

• Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.

  W. C. Fields

  Christmas, Funny Life, Drinking

  11 Copy quote

• I never eat before breakfast.

  W. C. Fields

  Breakfast

  28 Copy quote

• Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.

  W. C. Fields

  Drinking, Lunch, Comedy

  You Can't Cheat an Honest Man (motion picture) (1939).

  37 Copy quote

• My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.

  W. C. Fields

  Baby, Food, Health

  18 Copy quote

• I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.

  W. C. Fields

  Giving Up, Beer, Alcohol

  7 Copy quote

Page 4 of 9

First

← Prev

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

Next →

• facebook
• twitter
• googleplus
• email
• linkedin