Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.
The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.
I've never been drunk, but often I've been overserved.
I drink to make other people more interesting.
Drinking is an emotional thing. It joggles you out of the standardism of everyday life, out of everything being the same. It yanks you out of your body and your mind and throws you against the wall. I have the feeling that drinking is a form of suicide where you're allowed to return to life and begin all over the next day. It's like killing yourself, and then you're reborn. I guess I've lived about ten or fifteen thousand lives now.
Not everyone who drinks is a poet. Some of us drink because we're not poets.
Drinking is an emotional thing. It joggles you out of the standardism of everyday life, out of everything being the same.
Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my scotch, I say, I'm thirsty, not dirty.
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.
I only take a drink on two occasions - when I'm thirsty and when I'm not.
A lady came up to me one day and said 'Sir! You are drunk', to which I replied 'I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly.
Drinking is a way of ending the day.
or simply: