Funny Alcohol Quotes - Page 2

• I'm too drunk to taste this chicken

  Colonel Sanders

  Funny, Drunk, Entrepreneur

  112 Copy quote

• Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Motivational, Drinking, Beer

  The Devil's Dictionary

  12 Copy quote

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• Drink the first. Sip the second slowly. Skip the third.

  Knute Rockne

  Drinking, Alcohol, Cocktails

  23 Copy quote

• I blew the lot on vodka and tonic, gambling and fags. Looking back, I think I overdid it on the tonic.

  Stan Bowles

  Football, Drinking, Thinking

  60 Copy quote

• I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.

  Hunter S. Thompson

  Weed, Hate, Drinking

  FaceBook post by Hunter S. Thompson from Jul 15, 2014

  85 Copy quote

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• Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer.

  Arnold Schwarzenegger

  Inspirational, Baby, Motivational Sports

  "Pumping Iron". Documentary, www.imdb.com. 1977.

  91 Copy quote

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  I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.

  George Best

  Soccer, Sports, Football

  "Best: Decline of the golden boy". news.bbc.co.uk. June 14, 2005.

  80 Copy quote

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• Alcohol is like love. The first kiss is magic, the second is intimate, the third is routine. After that you take the girl's clothes off.

  Raymond Chandler

  Girl, Drinking, Beer

  The Long Goodbye ch. 4 (1953)

  21 Copy quote

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• Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed by the facts.

  Finley Peter Dunne

  Food, Drinking, Beer

  11 Copy quote

• I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.

  Jack Lemmon

  Funny, Music, Morning

  95 Copy quote

• I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.

  Oscar Levant

  Drinking, Beer, Funny Sarcastic

  "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

  62 Copy quote

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• Life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, so let's all get wasted and have the time of our lives.

  Kurt Cobain

  Funny, Humor, Alcohol

  141 Copy quote

• My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them.

  Winston Churchill

  Drinking, Beer, Funny Sarcastic

  Uttered during a lunch with the Arab leader, Ibn Saud

  100 Copy quote

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• I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won't let himself get snotty about it.

  Raymond Chandler

  Drinking, Beer, Men

  Raymond Chandler (2014). “The World of Raymond Chandler: In His Own Words”, p.87, Vintage

  24 Copy quote

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• I went to the worst of bars hoping to get killed but all I could do was to get drunk again.

  Charles Bukowski

  Funny, Suicide, Drinking

  Charles Bukowski, “The Suicide Kid”

  37 Copy quote

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• Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.

  Wilhelm II

  Funny, Kings, Women

  149 Copy quote

• You can only drink 30 or 40 glasses of beer a day, no matter how rich you are.

  Adolphus Busch

  Money, Humorous, Drinking

  61 Copy quote

• Wine is constant proof that God loves us and likes to see us happy.

  Benjamin Franklin

  Humorous, Drinking, Beer

  66 Copy quote

• Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss.

  Robert A. Heinlein

  Missing You, Strong, Drinking

  Robert A. Heinlein (1987). “Time Enough for Love”, p.325, Penguin

  51 Copy quote

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  You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

  Dean Martin

  Clever, Lying, Humorous

  In Paul Dickson Official Rules (1978) p. 112

  214 Copy quote

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• Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

  W. C. Fields

  Food, Drinking, Beer

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  46 Copy quote

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• Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and answer to, all of life's problems.

  Matt Groening

  Food, Humor, Alcohol

  17 Copy quote

• I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

  W. C. Fields

  Funny, Witty, Strong

  93 Copy quote

• My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.

  Henny Youngman

  Good Life, Grandma, Drinking

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  150 Copy quote

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  Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

  Frank Sinatra

  Love, Bible, Sarcastic

  185 Copy quote