Drinking Funny Quotes - Page 4

• A drinker has a hole under his nose that all his money runs into.

  Thomas Fuller

  Funny, Running, Drinking

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• Champagne, if you are seeking the truth, is better than a lie detector. It encourages a man to be expansive, even reckless, while lie detectors are only a challenge to tell lies successfully.

  Graham Greene

  Truth, Lying, Drinking

  Graham Greene (1980). “Travels with my aunt”

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• If four or five guys tell you that you're drunk, even though you know you haven't had a thing to drink, the least you can do is to lie down a little while.

  Joseph M. Schenck

  Lying, Drinking, Drunk

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• Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.

  Mark Twain

  Drinking, Alcohol, Funny Beer

  Mark Twain (2015). “Bite-Size Twain: Wit and Wisdom from the Literary Legend”, p.31, St. Martin's Press

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• There are more old drunks than there are old doctors.

  Willie Nelson

  Drinking, Beer, Doctors

  Willie Nelson, Bud Shrake, Edwin Shrake (2000). “Willie: An Autobiography”, p.193, Rowman & Littlefield

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• Ho! Ho! Ho! To the bottle I go To heal my heart and drown my woe Rain may fall, and wind may blow And many miles be still to go But under a tall tree will I lie And let the clouds go sailing by

  J. R. R. Tolkien

  Lying, Drinking, Rain

  J.R.R. Tolkien (2012). “The Fellowship of the Ring: Being the First Part of The Lord of the Rings”, p.72, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

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• Wine is the most healthful and most hygienic of beverages.

  Louis Pasteur

  Food, Drinking, Health

  Etudes sur le vin Pt 1, Ch. 2, Sect. B

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• Beer is made by men, wine by God.

  Martin Luther

  Drinking, Wine, Beer

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• I always take Scotch whiskey at night as a preventive of toothache. I have never had the toothache; and what is more, I never intend to have it.

  Mark Twain

  Drinking, Night, Scotch

  Mark Twain (2012). “The Wit and Wisdom of Mark Twain: A Book of Quotations”, p.42, Courier Corporation

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• Love makes the world go round? Not at all. Whiskey makes it go round twice as fast.

  Compton Mackenzie

  Anniversary, Humorous, Drinking

  Sir Compton Mackenzie (1950). “Tight Little Island”

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• I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I had lost exactly two weeks.

  Joe E. Lewis

  Funny, Drinking, Humor

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• We drink [to] one another's health and spoil our own.

  Jerome K. Jerome

  Drinking, Food, Health

  Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow (1886) "On Eating and Drinking"

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• He that drinks fast, pays slow.

  Benjamin Franklin

  Drinking, Beer, Alcohol

  1733 Poor Richard's Almanack, Aug.

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• I saw a notice that said "Drink Canada Dry" and I've just started.

  Brendan Behan

  Drinking, Food, Beer

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• The chief reason for drinking is the desire to behave in a certain way, and to be able to blame it on alcohol.

  Mignon McLaughlin

  Drinking, Beer, Alcohol

  Mignon McLaughlin (2014). “Aperçus: The Aphorisms of Mignon McLaughlin”, p.58, BookBaby

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• I had to stop drinkin, cuz I got tired of waking up in my car driving ninety.

  Richard Pryor

  Funny, Drinking, Tired

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• I feel sorry for people who do not have a Bible to lean on.

  Adrian Rogers

  Sorry, Drinking, Beer

  Adrian Rogers, Steve Rogers (2012). “What Every Christian Ought to Know”, p.25, B&H Publishing Group

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• Wine is constant proof that God loves us and likes to see us happy.

  Benjamin Franklin

  Humorous, Drinking, Beer

  69 Copy quote

• Reality is an illusion created by a lack of alcohol.

  N. F. Simpson

  Drinking, Food, Reality

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• Here's to alcohol, the rose colored glasses of life.

  F. Scott Fitzgerald

  Drinking, Glasses, Drunk

  "The Beautiful and Damned". Book by F. Scott Fitzgerald, pitchfork.com. 1922.

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• A lady came up to me one day and said 'Sir! You are drunk', to which I replied 'I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly.

  Winston Churchill

  Humorous, Party, Drinking

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• Not everyone who drinks is a poet. Some of us drink because we're not poets.

  Dudley Moore

  Drinking, Beer, Alcohol

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• One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.

  Nancy Astor

  Time, Educational, Drinking

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• Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.

  Ogden Nash

  Funny, Drinking, Beer

  "Reflection on Ice-breaking" l. 1 (1931)

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• I drink to make other people interesting.

  George Jean Nathan

  Drinking, Book, Beer

  George Jean Nathan, Charles Angoff (1998). “The World of George Jean Nathan: Essays, Reviews, & Commentary”, Hal Leonard Corporation

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