Well, the way things are going, aside from wheat and auto parts, America's biggest export is now the Oscar.
With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we'll never see each other!
I don't like spinach, and I'm glad I don't, because if I liked it I'd eat it, and I just hate it.
Calvin Coolidge was the greatest man who ever came out of Plymouth Corner, Vermont.
I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'
My mother was against me being an actress - until I introduced her to Frank Sinatra.
It destroys one's nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being.
I observe the physician with the same diligence as the disease.
Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine what it's doing in the Maritimes.
Take motherhood: nobody ever thought of putting it on a moral pedestal until some brash feminists pointed out, about a century ago, that the pay is lousy and the career ladder nonexistent.
It was the experience of mystery - even if mixed with fear - that engendered religion.
I guess the more serious you play something, if the context is funny, then it will be funny and it doesn't really require you to be necessarily, explicitly humorous, or silly.
Grant me some wild expressions, Heavens, or I shall burst.
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
It isn't what they say about you, it's what they whisper.
If you don't know what to do with many of the papers piled on your desk, stick a dozen colleagues initials on them and pass them along. When in doubt, route.
Hell is a half-filled auditorium.
A clever man commits no minor blunders.
I love the protest signs protected by the First Amendment - some of them humorous, some of them passionate, some factual, some entirely incorrect - all of them free ideas.
Defy your own group. Rebel against yourself.
There's one thing about baldness, it's neat.
The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup.
Young lawyers attend the courts, not because they have business there, but because they have no business.
I can see the humorous side of things and enjoy the fun when it comes; but look where I will, there seems to me always more sadness than joy in life.
You know, my main reaction to this money thing is that it's humorous, all the attention to it, because it's hardly the most insightful or valuable thing that's happened to me.
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