Witty Quotes - Page 40

• Everyone striving to be witty and sought-after, everyone talking and no one listening.

  Lisa Kleypas

  Talking, Listening, Strive

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• The stories we love best do live in us forever.

  J. K. Rowling

  Life, Wise, Forever

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• I'm trying to think of a witty comeback, when Boggs says brusquely, “Well, don't expect us to be too impressed. We just saw Finnick Odair in his underwear.” I decide to go ahead and like Boggs.

  Suzanne Collins

  Thinking, Trying, Underwear

  Suzanne Collins (2010). “Mockingjay (The Hunger Games, Book 3)”, p.82, Scholastic Inc.

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• Plainly, this unwillingness to give ground even on unimportant disagreements is the symptom of some deepseated insecurity, as was my one-time fondness for making teasing remarks (which I amended when I read Anthony Powell's matter-of-fact observation that teasing is an unfailing sign of misery within) and as is my very pronounced impatience. The struggle, therefore, is to try and cultivate the virtuous side of these shortcomings: to be a genial host while only slightly whiffled, for example, or to be witty at the expense of one's own weaknesses instead of those of other people.

  Christopher Hitchens

  Struggle, People, Giving

  Christopher Hitchens (2010). “Hitch 22: A Memoir”, p.302, Atlantic Books Ltd

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• My waist is a 30. The jeans are a 28. When I fart, the Reeboks blow off.

  Steve Kluger

  Blow, Jeans, Fart

  Steve Kluger (2009). “Almost Like Being in Love: A Novel”, p.241, Zondervan

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• No one can have everything, so you have to try for what you want most.

  Mae West

  Sarcastic, Humorous, Trying

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• I saw what a mess a lot of people could make of their lives when they're smitten. Some of them go temporarily insane. They find a person who they think holds the key to their happiness-the only key to their happiness... My work has always been my greatest happiness

  Mae West

  Sarcastic, Humorous, Thinking

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• Well do I remember the first night we met, how you questioned my opinion that first impressions are perfect. You were right to do so, of course, but even then I suspected what I've come to believe most passionately these past weeks: from that first moment, I knew you were a dangerous woman, and I was in great peril of falling in love." She thought she should say something witty here. She said, "Really?

  Shannon Hale

  Falling In Love, Believe, Past

  Shannon Hale (2007). “Austenland: A Novel”, Bloomsbury USA

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• I looked at Bria. “How do you put up with him?” Bria started to open her mouth, but Finn piped up instead. “She puts up with me because I happen to be rich, handsome, charming, a witty conversationalist, and exceptionally talented in bed,” he smirked. “Flexible too.” I groaned. “I did not need to hear those last two.

  Jennifer Estep

  Two, Bed, Needs

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• At once, it’s clear I cannot gush. We try me playing cocky, but I just don’t have the arrogance. Apparently, I’m too “vulnerable” for ferocity. I’m not witty. Funny. Sexy. Or mysterious By the end of the session, I am no one at all.

  Suzanne Collins

  Sexy, Cocky, Arrogance

  Suzanne Collins (2009). “The Hunger Games”, p.113, Scholastic Inc.

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• This isn't a particularly novel observation, but the world is full of people who think they can manipulate the lives of others merely by getting a law passed.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Humorous, Thinking

  Groucho Marx (2017). “Groucho and Me”, p.238, Pickle Partners Publishing

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• We fall in love because we long to escape from ourselves with someone as beautiful, intelligent, and witty as we are ugly, stupid, and dull. But what if such a perfect being should one day turn around and decide they will love us back? We can only be somewhat shocked-how can they be as wonderful as we had hoped when they have the bad taste to approve of someone like us?

  Alain de Botton

  Beautiful, Falling In Love, Stupid

  Alain De Botton (1993). “On Love”, Grove/Atlantic

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• If God exists, I hope he has a good excuse.

  Woody Allen

  Death, Humorous, Dying

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• Beauty without wit offers nothing but the enjoyment of its material charms, whilst witty ugliness captivates by the charms of the mind, and at last fulfils all the desires of the man it has captivated.

  Giacomo Casanova

  Men, Mind, Desire

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• Don't argue about the difficulties. The difficulties will argue for themselves.

  Winston Churchill

  Funny, Arguing, Difficulty

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• Between funny and witty Falls the shadow

  Stephen Fry

  Fall, Shadow, Funny And Witty

  Stephen Fry (2012). “The Fry Chronicles: An Autobiography”, p.120, The Overlook Press

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• The army slew a thousand and showed little pity The king ordered fealty from the conquered city The prince charmed its people with words wise and witty And the queen sat on a couch, looking very pretty

  Shannon Hale

  Wise, Kings, Queens

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• America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked.

  David Letterman

  Inspirational, Country, Real

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• Krystal’s slow passage up the school had resembled the passage of a goat through the body of a boa constrictor, being highly visible and uncomfortable for both parties concerned.

  J. K. Rowling

  Party, School, Body

  J.K. Rowling (2012). “The Casual Vacancy”, p.45, Hachette UK

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• My commentary's hilarious, not witty.

  Richelle Mead

  Commentary

  Richelle Mead (2012). “The Golden Lily: A Bloodlines Novel”, p.81, Penguin

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• I didn't want to kiss you goodbye — that was the trouble — I wanted to kiss you good night — and there's a lot of difference.

  Ernest Hemingway

  Relationship, Good Night, Goodbye

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  You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at.

  Tina Fey

  Smart, Humor, Stupid People

  Interview with Oprah Winfrey, www.oprah.com. February, 2009.

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• I want my brain to slide back into the slot it was meant to be in, rest there the way it did before the fall of last year, back when I was young, witty, and my teachers said I had incredible promise.

  Ned Vizzini

  Teacher, Fall, Years

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• I appreciate my my sleep In sleep my conversation is witty My home is dusted My office work is up to date The dog is even well behaved And food is on the table on time But then when I'm asleep I don't have you to clutter and confuse My hungry heart

  Nikki Giovanni

  Dog, Home, Heart

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• I love my cigar too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Humorous, Mouths

  Censored line, You Bet Your Life (radio and television program) (1947 - 1961).

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