Witty Quotes - Page 39

• My plans are still in embryo, a town on the edge of wishful thinking.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Humorous, Thinking

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• When all by myself, I can think of all kinds of clever remarks, quick comebacks to what no one said, and flashes of witty sociability with nobody. But all of this vanishes when I face someone in the flesh: I lose my intelligence, I can no longer speak, and after half an hour I just feel tired. Talking to people makes me feel like sleeping. Only my ghostly and imaginary friends, only the conversations I have in my dreams, are genuinely real and substantial.

  Fernando Pessoa

  Dream, Clever, Real

  Fernando Pessoa (2002). “The Book of Disquiet”, p.69, Penguin UK

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  In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

  George Carlin

  Funny, Sarcastic, Stupid

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• You must not look in that mirror at your doughy legs and flat feet, for today is about dreams and illusions, and unfiltered natural daylight is the enemy of dreams.

  Tina Fey

  Dream, Mirrors, Feet

  Tina Fey (2011). “Bossypants”, p.77, Hachette UK

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• Political correctness is tyranny with manners.

  Charlton Heston

  Funny, Sarcastic, Atheist

  "Appreciation: Charlton Heston" by Richard Corliss, content.time.com. April 6, 2008.

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• In most cases being a good boss means hiring talented people and then getting out of their way.

  Tina Fey

  Mean, Top Management, People

  "Bossypants". Book by Tina Fey, April 5, 2011.

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• Come on in girls, and leave all hope behind.

  Groucho Marx

  Funny, Girl, Humorous

  Groucho Marx, Richard J. Anobile (1973). “The Marx Bros. Scrapbook”, Crown Publishing Group (NY)

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• Some people say, “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.

  Tina Fey

  People, Mad, Cry

  "Bossypants". Book by Tina Fey, April 05, 2011.

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  Whatever the problem, be part of the solution. Don’t just sit around raising questions and pointing out obstacles.

  Tina Fey

  Careers, Obstacles, Problem

  "Bossypants". Book by Tina Fey, www.theguardian.com. 2011.

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• Change is not a four letter word...but often your reaction to it is!

  Jeffrey Gitomer

  Inspirational, Funny, Four

  Twitter post from Feb 05, 2016

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• Either way, everything will be fine. But if you have an opinion, please feel free to offer it to me through the gap in the door of a public restroom. Everyone else does.

  Tina Fey

  Doors, Doe, Gaps

  Tina Fey (2011). “Bossypants”, p.149, Hachette UK

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• The problem with a life spent reading is you know too much.

  Josh Lanyon

  Reading, Too Much, Problem

  Josh Lanyon (2009). “The Dickens with Love”, p.20, Samhain Publishing

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• A good church is a Bible-centered church. Nothing is as important as this--not a large congregation, a witty pastor, or tangible experiences of the Holy Spirit.

  Alistair Begg

  Biblical, Important, Church

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• People who didn't need people needed people around to know that they were the kind of people who didn't need people.

  Terry Pratchett

  People, Ironic, Needs

  "Maskerade". Book by Terry Pratchett, 1994.

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• You know, you're rather amusingly wrong.

  Terry Pratchett

  Knows

  Terry Pratchett (2009). “Maskerade: (Discworld Novel 18)”, p.142, Random House

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• -Oh yes? Can you identify yourself? -Certainly. I'd know me anywhere.

  Terry Pratchett

  Funny, Know Me, Knows

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• Do your thing and don't care if they like it.

  Tina Fey

  Being Yourself, Badass, Love Yourself

  "We Didn't Come to Saturday Night Live To Be Cute" by Tina Fey, www.slate.com. July 25, 2011.

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• The artist's job is not to succumb to despair but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence.

  Woody Allen

  Art, Jobs, Humorous

  "Fictional character: Gertrude Stein". "Midnight in Paris", www.imdb.com. 2011.

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• Everyone striving to be witty and sought-after, everyone talking and no one listening.

  Lisa Kleypas

  Talking, Listening, Strive

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• The stories we love best do live in us forever.

  J. K. Rowling

  Life, Wise, Forever

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• I'm trying to think of a witty comeback, when Boggs says brusquely, “Well, don't expect us to be too impressed. We just saw Finnick Odair in his underwear.” I decide to go ahead and like Boggs.

  Suzanne Collins

  Thinking, Trying, Underwear

  Suzanne Collins (2010). “Mockingjay (The Hunger Games, Book 3)”, p.82, Scholastic Inc.

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• Plainly, this unwillingness to give ground even on unimportant disagreements is the symptom of some deepseated insecurity, as was my one-time fondness for making teasing remarks (which I amended when I read Anthony Powell's matter-of-fact observation that teasing is an unfailing sign of misery within) and as is my very pronounced impatience. The struggle, therefore, is to try and cultivate the virtuous side of these shortcomings: to be a genial host while only slightly whiffled, for example, or to be witty at the expense of one's own weaknesses instead of those of other people.

  Christopher Hitchens

  Struggle, People, Giving

  Christopher Hitchens (2010). “Hitch 22: A Memoir”, p.302, Atlantic Books Ltd

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• My waist is a 30. The jeans are a 28. When I fart, the Reeboks blow off.

  Steve Kluger

  Blow, Jeans, Fart

  Steve Kluger (2009). “Almost Like Being in Love: A Novel”, p.241, Zondervan

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• Advertising in the final analysis should be news. If it is not news it is worthless.

  Adolph Ochs

  Wise, Business, Marketing

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• No one can have everything, so you have to try for what you want most.

  Mae West

  Sarcastic, Humorous, Trying

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