I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them.
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvelous personality that started you drinking in the first place.
Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compounding a felony.
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction.
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss.
Alcohol gives you infinite patience for stupidity.
I believe, if we take habitual drunkards as a class, their heads and their hearts will bear an advantageous comparison with those of any other class. There seems ever to have been a proneness in the brilliant and warm-blooded to fall into this vice.
I like to have a martini/Two at the very most.
Beer, if drank with moderation, softens the temper, cheers the spirit, and promotes health.
There are more old drunkards than old physicians.
I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?
Health - what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.
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