Funny Drinking Quotes - Page 6

• There cannot be good living where there is not good drinking.

  Benjamin Franklin

  Funny, Drinking, Food

  Benjamin Franklin (2008). “The Autobiography and Other Writings”, p.347, Bantam Classics

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• Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

  Dave Barry

  Book, Drinking, Beer

  Dave Barry (2012). “The Greatest Invention in the History of Mankind Is Beer: And Other Manly Insights from Dave Barry”, p.112, Andrews McMeel Publishing

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• Fill with mingled cream and amber, I will drain that glass again. Such hilarious visions clamber Through the chamber of my brain — Quaintest thoughts — queerest fancies Come to life and fade away; What care I how time advances? I am drinking ale today.

  Edgar Allan Poe

  Food, Drinking, Beer

  Edgar Allan Poe (2013). “Delphi Complete Works of Edgar Allan Poe (Illustrated)”, p.229, Delphi Classics

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• The only way that I could figure they could improve upon Coca-Cola, one of life's most delightful elixirs, which studies prove will heal the sick and occasionally raise the dead, is to put bourbon in it.

  Lewis Grizzard

  Drinking, Sick, Way

  1634 Copy quote

• I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.

  Winston Churchill

  Military, Drinking, Taken

  In Quentin Reynolds By Quentin Reynolds (1964) ch. 11

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• He that drinks fast, pays slow.

  Benjamin Franklin

  Drinking, Beer, Alcohol

  1733 Poor Richard's Almanack, Aug.

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• A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says "Okay, let's get started.

  Henny Youngman

  Drinking, Beer, Drunk

  106 Copy quote

• Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

  W. C. Fields

  Food, Drinking, Beer

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Wine is sunlight, held together by water.

  Galileo Galilei

  Drinking, Food, Wine

  58 Copy quote

• Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.

  Henry Lawson

  Party, Drinking, Beer

  59 Copy quote

• If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.

  W. C. Fields

  Drinking, Living My Life, Saloons

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• Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.

  Winston Churchill

  Drinking, Beer, Wife

  23 Copy quote

• The chief reason for drinking is the desire to behave in a certain way, and to be able to blame it on alcohol.

  Mignon McLaughlin

  Drinking, Beer, Alcohol

  Mignon McLaughlin (2014). “Aperçus: The Aphorisms of Mignon McLaughlin”, p.58, BookBaby

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• You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.

  Frank Zappa

  Funny, Football, Country

  Frank Zappa, Peter Occhiogrosso (1990). “Real Frank Zappa Book”, p.231, Simon and Schuster

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• Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.

  W. C. Fields

  Travel, Book, Drinking

  74 Copy quote

• If I have one, I'll have thirteen. No, there ain't no in-betwee. Cuz the more I drink, the more I drink, the more I drink.

  Blake Shelton

  Drinking, Cuz, Thirteen

  19 Copy quote

• I once shook hands with Pat Boone, and my whole right side sobered up!

  Dean Martin

  Drinking, Beer, Hands

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat - in other words, turn you into an adult.

  P. J. O'Rourke

  Drinking, Alcohol, Mind

  P. J. O'Rourke (2007). “Modern Manners: An Etiquette Book for Rude People”, p.57, Grove/Atlantic, Inc.

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• Wine gives a man nothing... it only puts in motion what had been locked up in frost.

  Samuel Johnson

  Drinking, Wine, Men

  17 Copy quote

• If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer.

  Clement Freud

  Funny, Witty, Giving Up

  Quoted in Observer (London), 27 Dec. 1964.

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• The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.

  William Butler Yeats

  Drinking, Food, Humor

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• When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

  Henny Youngman

  Crazy, Drinking, Reading

  Quoted in Rocky Mountain News, 15 July 1994

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• I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.

  Jack Lemmon

  Funny, Music, Morning

  95 Copy quote

• Any man who eats dessert is not drinking enough.

  Ernest Hemingway

  Drinking, Men, Alcohol

  7 Copy quote

• I saw a notice that said "Drink Canada Dry" and I've just started.

  Brendan Behan

  Drinking, Food, Beer

  15 Copy quote