Funny Relationship Quotes - Page 7

• Morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards people whom we personally dislike.

  Oscar Wilde

  Inspirational, Funny, Inspiring

  An Ideal Husband act 2 (1895)

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• Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.

  Henny Youngman

  Funny, Marriage, Women

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• Women are cursed, and men are the proof.

  Roseanne Barr

  Valentines Day, Men, Funny Valentine

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• If Jack's in love, he's no judge of Jill's beauty.

  Benjamin Franklin

  Love, Beauty, Sex

  Benjamin Franklin (2007). “Poor Richard's Almanack”, p.41, Skyhorse Publishing, Inc.

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• I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people.

  Chelsea Handler

  Funny, Humor, Sleep

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• The same passions in man and woman nonetheless differ in tempo; hence man and woman do not cease misunderstanding one another.

  Friedrich Nietzsche

  Relationship, Sarcastic, Passion

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• I don't understand you. You don't understand me. What else do we have in common?

  Ashleigh Brilliant

  Common, Understand Me, You Don't Understand Me

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• To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

  Helen Rowland

  Love, Being Happy, Men

  Irvin S. Cobb, Mary Roberts Rinehart, Helen Rowland, Richard Saunders (2017). “We Should All Be So Feminine: We Should All Be a Feminist: We Should All Be Feminists”, p.81, Lulu.com

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• More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.

  Doug Larson

  Love, Relationship, Anniversary

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• Our greatest joy and our greatest pain comes in our relationships with others.

  Stephen Covey

  Relationship, Broken Heart, Pain

  Stephen R. Covey, A. Roger Merrill, Rebecca R. Merrill (1995). “First Things First”, p.197, Simon and Schuster

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• When I want to end a relationship I just say, 'You know, I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have your children.' Sometimes they leave skid marks.

  Rita Rudner

  Relationship, Children, Love You

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• To know when to go away and when to come closer is the key to any lasting relationship.

  Domenico Cieri

  Relationship, Soulmate, Keys

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• Problems in relationship occur because each person is concentrating on what is missing in the other person.

  Wayne Dyer

  Relationship, Missing, Self Centered

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• Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships.

  Sharon Stone

  Funny, Relationship, Sexy

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• I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.

  Phyllis Diller

  Cute, Birthday, Age

  Phyllis Diller (1981). “The joys of aging--and how to avoid them: can sex keep you young? And other silly questions”, Doubleday Books

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• I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't.

  Patrick Murray

  Love, Funny, Marriage

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• The fundamental glue that holds any relationship together is trust.

  Brian Tracy

  Relationship, Money, Together

  Brian Tracy (2005). “Create Your Own Future: How to Master the 12 Critical Factors of Unlimited Success”, p.156, BookBaby

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• Relationships give us a reason to live. Revenge.

  Ronnie Shakes

  Relationship, Revenge, Dating

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• Of course 'we humans' have a funny relationship with the beings with whom we share our planet. We eat them, we care for them, we admire them, we use them.

  April Gornik

  Use, Care, Share

  "Our Real Wealth" by April Gornik, www.huffingtonpost.com. July 14, 2010.

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• When a man loves a woman, periodically he needs to pull away before he can get closer.

  John Gray

  Relationship, Money, Men

  John Gray “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”

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• My wife made me join a bridge club... I jump off next Tuesday.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Humor, Suicidal

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• My ex-boyfriend can round last night, which was weird because I didn't know he was in a coma.

  Jo Brand

  Ex Boyfriend, Night, Lasts

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• I got a horse for my wife. I thought it was a fair swap.

  Bob Monkhouse

  Horse, Wife, Fairs

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• Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla.

  Jim Bishop

  Daughter, Dad, Being Single

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• You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip.

  Jonathan Carroll

  Love, Life, Valentines Day

  Jonathan Carroll (2005). “Outside the Dog Museum”, p.89, Macmillan

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