If you're working out in front of a mirror and watching your muscles grow, your ego has reached a point where it is now eating itself. That's why I believe there should be a psychiatrist at every health club, so that when they see you doing this, they will take you away for a little chat.
Republicans have nothing but bad ideas and Democrats have no ideas.
It's absolutely stupid that we live without an ozone layer. We have men, we've got rockets, we've got saran wrap - fix it!
And I know this happens because I took economics, and I'd explain it to ya, but I flunked that course. Not my fault. They taught it at 8 o'clock in the morning. And there is absolutely nothing you can learn out of one bloodshot eye.
If the people of New Zealand want to be part of our world, I believe they should hop off their islands, and push 'em closer.
Friends come and go but enemies accumulate.
Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.
The problem with the designated driver programme, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At then end of the night drop them off at the wrong house.
Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it.
Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
At my age flowers scare me.
It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.
I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
I do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I'm President of the United States and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli.
I think we ought to raise the age at which juveniles can have a gun.
Our nation must come together to unite.
If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
The course of this conflict is not known, yet its outcome is certain. Freedom and fear, justice and cruelty, have always been at war, and we know that God is not neutral between them.
It is clear our nation is reliant upon big foreign oil. More and more of our imports come from overseas.
Follow AzQuotes on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. Every day we present the best quotes! Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends
or simply: