Henny Youngman Quotes - Page 9

Quotes about:

• The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!

  Henny Youngman

  Funny, Humor, Keys

  4 Copy quote

• My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash.

  Henny Youngman

  Funny, Family, Brother

  72 Copy quote

• My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo.

  Henny Youngman

  Funny, Family, Brother

  6 Copy quote

• She's a big-hearted girl with hips to match.

  Henny Youngman

  Funny, Girl, Humor

  10 Copy quote

• This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.

  Henny Youngman

  Funny, Humor, Numbers

  20 Copy quote

• A tough guy told me, "I'll bet you $10 you're dead." I was afraid to bet him.

  Henny Youngman

  Funny, Humor, Guy

  7 Copy quote

• Some people play a horse to win, some to place. I should have bet this horse to live.

  Henny Youngman

  Funny, Horse, Winning

  4 Copy quote

• My son is 21. He'll be 22 if I let him.

  Henny Youngman

  Funny, Family, Humor

  4 Copy quote

• In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess.

  Henny Youngman

  Education, Teaching, School

  17 Copy quote

• I'm paid to make an idiot out of myself. Why do you do it for free?

  Henny Youngman

  Idiot, Paid

  Henny Youngman (1994). “Henny Youngman's Bar Jokes, Bar Bets and Bar Tricks”, Outlet

  4 Copy quote

• He is the only man I ever met with a seersucker face.

  Henny Youngman

  Funny, Humor, Men

  7 Copy quote

• I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.

  Henny Youngman

  Funny, Time, Humor

  7 Copy quote

• My wife and I got remarried. Our divorce didn't work out.

  Henny Youngman

  Divorce, Work Out, Wife

  5 Copy quote

• Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!

  Henny Youngman

  Hitting, Behinds

  7 Copy quote

• If a joke is too hard to visualize, I tell the young comics, then what the hell good is it?

  Henny Youngman

  Hell, Young, Jokes

  Henny Youngman, Neal Karlen (1992). “Take my life, please!”, Thorndike Pr

  4 Copy quote

• How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O

  Henny Youngman

  Funny, Humor, People

  5 Copy quote

• There is no spark like the one ignited under the aspirations of a new graduate.

  Henny Youngman

  Graduation, Memorable, Sparks

  6 Copy quote

• I've been married for 49 years. Where have I failed?

  Henny Youngman

  Funny, Humor, Years

  6 Copy quote

• Now, the band that inspired that great saying, "Stop The Music!!"

  Henny Youngman

  Funny, Humor, Band

  4 Copy quote

• He had a defect, which to a comic might be fatal. He wasn't funny.

  Henny Youngman

  Funny, Might, Comedy

  Henny Youngman (1994). “Henny Youngman's Bar Jokes, Bar Bets and Bar Tricks”, Outlet

  4 Copy quote

• My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.

  Henny Youngman

  Funny, Horse, Home

  4 Copy quote

• Let's get up here before we get killed!

  Henny Youngman

  Get Up

  5 Copy quote

• "What's the latest dope on Wall Street?" "My son!"

  Henny Youngman

  Funny, Wall, Humor

  8 Copy quote

• She has a wash and wear bridal gown.

  Henny Youngman

  Funny, Humor, Gowns

  11 Copy quote

• She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, "Tut, Tut!"

  Henny Youngman

  Funny, Humor, Kissing

  8 Copy quote

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