We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness — and call it love — true love.
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.
Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
When we talk to God, we're praying. When God talks to us, we're schizophrenic.
The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam.
A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often.
I was born to make mistakes, not to fake perfection
The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
If life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade....
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he's wrong.
Worrying is like paying a debt you don't owe.
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the US Congress.
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.
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