Rodney Dangerfield Quotes - Page 10

Quotes about:

• Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Acting, Doe, Actors

  15 Copy quote

• I'm at an age where I think more about food than I do about sex. Last week I put a mirror over my dining room table.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Inspirational, Sex, Thinking

  4 Copy quote

• I once dated a girl that was wild. She was so wild that one night she gave her phone number to the mechanical bull.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Girl, Night, Phones

  12 Copy quote

• I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Cheating, Humor

  11 Copy quote

• When I was a kid I got no respect. When I went on the roller coaster, my old man told me to stand up straight.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Respect, Kids, Men

  9 Copy quote

• My mom took me to a dog show and I won!!

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Mom, Dog

  7 Copy quote

• One day as I came home early, I saw a man jogging naked. I said to the guy, 'Hey, buddy, why are you doing that?' He said, 'Because you came home early.'

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Home, Men

  10 Copy quote

• Boy is my wife stupid. It takes her and hour and a half to watch 60 minutes. My daughters no bargain either. In public school she was voted most likely to conceive.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Daughter, Stupid

  12 Copy quote

• My mother used to rock me - and she used big rocks.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Mother, Rocks

  10 Copy quote

• I said to a girl I'd been seeing, come home with me, honey, and I'll show you where it's at. She said, You'd better, because the last time I could'nt find it.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Girl, Home, Honey

  7 Copy quote

• At my age I'm envious of a stiff wind.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Humorous, Wind

  6 Copy quote

• At Christmas time we couldn't afford tinsel, so we'd wait till grandpa sneezed.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Grandpa, Waiting, Christmas Time

  9 Copy quote

• My daughters been picked up so many times she's starting to grow handles

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Daughter, Humor

  7 Copy quote

• Hey, did somebody step on a duck?

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Ducks, Hey, Steps

  4 Copy quote

• Me and my dad used to play tag, he'd drive!

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Dad, Humor

  10 Copy quote

• Dad told me to stop running in circles, I couldn't, so he nailed down my other foot!

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Running, Dad

  9 Copy quote

• My ex-wife is a water sign and I'm an earth sign. Together we made mud.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Water, Wife

  5 Copy quote

• If I could have dinner with anyone who lived in history, it would depend on the restaurant.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  History, Dinner, Restaurants

  7 Copy quote

• My wife is so fat that the last time I saw something that big it was grazing.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Wife, Lasts, Saws

  9 Copy quote

• For two hours, some guy followed me around with a pooper scooper.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Humor, Two

  7 Copy quote

• My sex life is like shooting pool with a rope!

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Sex, Life Is Like, Rope

  10 Copy quote

• my wifes cooking is so bad the flys fix our screens

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Cooking, Screens

  9 Copy quote

• I am the world's oldest teenager. I've never lost my youthful attitude.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Attitude, Teenager, World

  "Rodney Dangerfield: What I've Learned" by Cal Fussman, www.esquire.com. January 29, 2007.

  4 Copy quote

• A sense of humor is rare. It isn't telling a joke about how there are three ways to get to heaven. It's being in a restaurant and hearing someone say, Everyone's got their tale of woe, and then turning around and saying, Unfortunately, in life, there's more woe than tail.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Heaven, Three, Tails

  "Rodney Dangerfield: What I've Learned" by Cal Fussman, www.esquire.com. January 29, 2007.

  6 Copy quote

• If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Sex, Pain, Ass

  "Rodney Dangerfield: What I've Learned" by Cal Fussman, www.esquire.com. January 29, 2007.

  6 Copy quote

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