Funny Quotes - Page 7

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  I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.

  Thomas A. Edison

  Inspirational, Motivational, Positive

  440 Copy quote

• A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

  W. C. Fields

  Sarcastic, Money, Men

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  343 Copy quote

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• A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

  Steven Wright

  Witty, Laughter, Humor

  "Steven Wright Special". Comedy, 1985.

  214 Copy quote

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• I drink to make other people more interesting.

  Ernest Hemingway

  Life, Drinking, Bad Ass

  "How To Be Interesting: Simple Ways to Increase Your Personal Appeal". Book by David Gillespie, Mark Warren, 2013.

  254 Copy quote

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• If you're going through hell, keep going.

  Winston Churchill

  Inspirational, Motivational, Change

  332 Copy quote
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  Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter.

  Bernard Baruch

  Inspirational, Life, Motivational

  235 Copy quote

• You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'

  Tommy Cooper

  Motivation, Humorous, Driving Fast

  70 Copy quote

• I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

  Rita Rudner

  Love, Life, Anniversary

  255 Copy quote

• We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.

  George Bernard Shaw

  Witty, Learning, Humor

  180 Copy quote

• Government is like a baby. An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.

  Ronald Reagan

  Baby, Military, Humor

  Ronald Reagan, Bill Adler (1981). “The Reagan wit”, Jameson Books

  267 Copy quote

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• It's true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?

  Ronald Reagan

  Hilarious, Work, Humorous

  Ronald Reagan (2004). “Speaking My Mind: Selected Speeches”, p.420, Simon and Schuster

  89 Copy quote

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• Whoever said money can't buy happiness didn't know where to shop

  Gertrude Stein

  Inspirational, Life, Motivational

  136 Copy quote
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  Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.

  Albert Camus

  Positivity, Bad Ass, People

  Albert Camus (1965). “Notebooks, 1942-1951”

  358 Copy quote

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• To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target

  Ashleigh Brilliant

  Life, Hilarious, Sarcastic

  130 Copy quote

• Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.

  Thomas A. Edison

  Life, Motivational, Positive

  "An Enemy Called Average". Book by John L. Mason, 1990.

  362 Copy quote

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• Education is learning what you didn't even know you didn't know.

  Daniel J. Boorstin

  Education, Teacher, Witty

  "A Case of Hypochondria". Newsweek, July 6, 1970.

  114 Copy quote

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• As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind - every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder.

  John Glenn

  Inspirational, Humorous, Space

  551 Copy quote

• If I hadn't been told I was garbage, I wouldn't have learned how to show people I'm talented. And if everyone had always laughed at my jokes, I wouldn't have figured out how to be so funny. If they hadn't told me I was ugly, I never would have searched for my beauty. And if they hadn't tried to break me down, I wouldn't know that I'm unbreakable.

  Gabourey Sidibe

  Motivational, Beauty, Learning

  "Gabourey Sidibe makes inspirational speech at Ms. Foundation gala" by Alison Rowley, www.digitalspy.com. May 2, 2014.

  211 Copy quote

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• If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.

  Mark Twain

  Inspiring, Thankful, Dog

  Pudd'nhead Wilson ch. 16, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar" (1894)

  275 Copy quote

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• Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.

  Oscar Wilde

  Love, Inspirational, Life

  Oscar Wilde (1947). “The Happy Prince”, p.16, New Line Publishing

  131 Copy quote

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• I want to thank my parents for somehow raising me to have confidence that is disproportionate with my looks and abilities.

  Tina Fey

  Parent, Looks, Want

  "Tina Fey: Sarah Palin And 'Saturday Night' Satire". "Fresh Air" with Terry Gross, www.npr.org. November 3, 2008..

  14 Copy quote

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• Mind is never a problem. Mindset is

  Narendra Modi

  Powerful, Attitude, Humorous

  146 Copy quote

• "Be yourself" is about the worst advice you can give some people.

  Thomas Lansing Masson

  Life, Being Yourself, Being Single

  "American Treasury, 1455-1955". Book by Clifton Fadiman, p. 791, 1955.

  35 Copy quote

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• High heels were invented by a woman who had been kissed on the forehead.

  Christopher Morley

  Fashion, Women, Kissing

  70 Copy quote

• Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

  Erma Bombeck

  Inspirational, Humorous, Health

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  97 Copy quote

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