Politics: Poli a Latin word meaning many and tics meaning bloodsucking creatures.
People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid.
Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
I was born to make mistakes, not to fake perfection
Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. I'm beginning to believe it.
You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.
The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.
Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.
The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind - every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder.
The best advice I've ever received is, 'No one else knows what they're doing either.
To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
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