Funny Quotes - Page 2

• Politics: Poli a Latin word meaning many and tics meaning bloodsucking creatures.

  Robin Williams

  Latin, Humor, Political

  89 Copy quote

• People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

  A. A. Milne

  Inspiring, Witty, People

  "Fictional character: Winnie The Pooh". "Christopher Robin", www.imdb.com. 2018.

  776 Copy quote

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  Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid.

  John Wayne

  Life, Leadership, Badass

  273 Copy quote

• Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.

  Charles M. Schulz

  Inspirational, Life, Cute

  911 Copy quote

• I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

  Oscar Wilde

  Clever, Hipster, Writing

  Oscar Wilde (2007). “Epigrams of Oscar Wilde”, p.153, Wordsworth Editions

  432 Copy quote

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• My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Beauty, Crazy, Humor

  1384 Copy quote

• Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

  Margaret Mead

  Inspirational, Inspiring, Laughter

  177 Copy quote

• We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

  Phyllis Diller

  Hilarious, Mom, Education

  1176 Copy quote

• Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

  Mark Twain

  Inspirational, Motivational, Happy Birthday

  495 Copy quote
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  I was born to make mistakes, not to fake perfection

  Drake

  Hater, Mistake, Rapper

  580 Copy quote

• Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.

  Albert Einstein

  Inspirational, Change, Marriage

  Albert Einstein (2010). “The Ultimate Quotable Einstein”, p.482, Princeton University Press

  1559 Copy quote

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• Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.

  John F. Kennedy

  Forgiveness, Witty, Clever

  John F. Kennedy, Dominique Enright (2003). “The Wicked Wit of John F. Kennedy”, Michael O'Mara Books

  967 Copy quote

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• The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

  Steven Wright

  Witty, Time, Humorous

  631 Copy quote
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  I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.

  Ron White

  Inspirational, Encouraging, Uplifting

  "Blue Collar Comedy Tour Rides Again". Comedy, Documentary, www.imdb.com. 2004.

  689 Copy quote

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  When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. I'm beginning to believe it.

  Clarence Darrow

  Sarcastic, Believe, Sarcasm

  Quoted in Irving Stone, Clarence Darrow for the Defense (1941)

  1398 Copy quote

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  You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.

  Winston Churchill

  Inspirational, Life, Leadership

  1351 Copy quote

• The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

  Al McGuire

  Hilarious, Humorous, Pilots

  585 Copy quote
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  There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.

  Will Rogers

  Reading, Learning, Cowboy

  "The Manly Wisdom of Will Rogers". "Friars Club Bible of Jokes, Pokes, Roasts, and Toasts". Book by Nina Colman, p. 316, 2001.

  328 Copy quote

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  Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!

  Audrey Hepburn

  Inspirational, Motivational, Positive

  159 Copy quote

• When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

  Prince Philip

  Inspirational, Marriage, Witty

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  1499 Copy quote

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• The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

  Paul Fix

  Thinking, People, Statistics

  "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

  111 Copy quote

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• As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind - every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder.

  John Glenn

  Inspirational, Humorous, Space

  486 Copy quote

• The best advice I've ever received is, 'No one else knows what they're doing either.

  Ricky Gervais

  Knowing, Advice, Comedian

  37 Copy quote
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  To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead.

  Thomas Paine

  4th Of July, Medicine, Religion

  306 Copy quote

• Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

  Oscar Wilde

  Life, Happiness, Happy

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  488 Copy quote

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